The Death and Haunting of Jack O'Neill
by Aruna Hart
Summary: While on a routine mission to another planet SG1 faces a terrible disaster leaving one of the team dead. Trying to cope with their loss, now they must determine if they are going crazy when odd things start happening around the SGC.
1. Ambush of Death

Jack O'Neill steadied himself as he regained his balance after stepping through the Stargate. It wouldn't matter how many times he went through the gate, he always felt a little weird when he landed on the other side. Jack looked around to make sure everyone had made it to P4C- something. After that time in Antarctica one could never be too sure.

After completing a head count and briefly glancing at the surroundings, he radioed back to the SGC. "General Hammond? SG-1 and 5 all present and accounted for. It looks as though we're on the right planet, and as reported by the malp, no signs of people."

"Alright Colonel, thank you. Begin the survey, report back in six hours. Over and out."

Jack walked down the steps to the Stargate platform as the gate whooshed shut behind him. "Good morning campers!" He smiled and clapped his hands together. "It's a balmy 72 degrees, not a cloud in the four moon sky. The 32 hour days give us 21 hours of light to collect Daniel's rocks…"

"Artifacts!" Daniel interjected.

Jack gave him a dirty look. "Rocks!" he said pointing his finger in typical Jack O'Neill fashion. "Carter can gather her dirt specimens to see what weird alien things are in it. Teal'c and I will look around for anything unusual. SG-5," he turned to face Major Matthew's. "Secure the gate and hold that position. Everyone radio in every hour. Move out."

The day slowly was coming to an end. They had already reported in with the SGC several times. The next would be their last before returning to Earth. Daniel had been a bit disappointed at the apparent lack of ancient artifacts on the planet. Ironically, the closest thing was actually a stone pedal stool Jack had found while exploring. Three symbols were carved on top. One was the symbol for Earth, an upside-down 'V' with a circle on top. However, Daniel had never seen the other two before and had no clue as to their meaning.

Sam, however, was having much better luck. "Sir!" she called, her eye's glowing, "the ion particles in the nitrate propagase reaction test I conducted when we got here have increased exponentially. They have molecularized to the point of undergoing diaphoretic metabolic fusion…"

"ACCKKK!!!" Jack winced and held his hand up. "Just tell me what it means."

"Well sir, like I was saying the tests I did this morning show that the element I experimented on grow extremely fast."

"And this is important because…"

"I used the isotope primarily found in Naquada, refined Naquada. Colonel I think that we can use this planet to produce literally tons of weapons grade Naquada a week! Think of all the uses: power sources, medical research, military defenses, and interplanetary trade. Sir the list goes on and on!"

"So this is good?" he asked still a bit unsure.

"Very good sir!"

"Alright Major, lets tell the General." Jack motioned her to follow him. He pushed down on his radio button. "Ok people lets pack it up and go home. Carter's got some good news for the General."

Several days later, SG-1 was preparing to embark for the planet again. Major Carter had more tests to run, and Daniel wanted to investigate more unusual symbols that SG-14 discovered the day before.

"Major, how long are these tests of yours going to take?" Jack asked as soon as he stepped through the gate.

"A few hours sir," Sam Carter replied watching as he gave orders to SG-12. She couldn't help but notice how perfect the scene was with him standing in the light from the gate.

"Carter?!" She was startled back to reality by his voice. "Whatchya doing?"

"Umm. Nothing sir,"

"Well, as much as I would ordinarily LOVE to see you do nothing, the sooner those tests get done the sooner we can get back to base." He told her with a grin but Carter noticed the tightness in his voice.

"Sir is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's great. I just would rather wait for the Tok'ra to run their planet scan thing before we go setting up a beta site, you never know when those snakeheads will appear." His eyes darted around the clearing.

Sam tried not to notice his actions. There where two explanations. One was he noticed she was staring at him and was feeling awkward, or two, he had a weird feeling about this planet and was afraid it could be an ambush.

She was more inclined to believe it was the first reason because the Goa'uld didn't know about this place and none the tests and surveys done so far showed any signs of humanoid life. Besides, when was the last time Jack had actually said the name Tok'ra in a sentence without making a joke?

Jack, however, hadn't even noticed Sam's actions. The second he'd walked through the gate he felt that something was wrong. He glanced around and raised his eyebrow in a way that even Teal'c would be envious of. He couldn't quite put a finger on what was bothering him.

The colonel maneuvered himself over to where the DHD rested, and made his GDO readily accessible. Suddenly it hit him. The birds weren't singing. The planet was covered with trees and birds. In fact it was the only sign of life they had found. He knew of only one reason why the tiny singers would keep quiet. A glint of metal reflected in the brush about 300 feet away. It was an ambush.

"TAKE COVER!" Jack yelled as he ran towards a stunned Carter. He leaped the last few feet, knocking her over just as a staff blast zoomed over top them.

"Jack?" Daniel's voice came over the radio. "What's going on?"

"Hey Danny boy get your ass back here. It was a trap. The Jaffa were waiting for us." Jack replied between shots with his P90.

Within minutes, all the SGC personnel were back at the gate. Although they were holding the enemy at bay, they were blocked from the DHD. The colonel realized that with each passing second the Jaffa were closing in. That's when Jack made his choice.

"Cover me," he called.

"Sir, you can't. You'll be killed," Sam refused to let him pass.

"You're probably right Sam. I should do this first," and with that he leaned down and kissed Samantha Carter on the lips. She was still recovering of shock as he snuck away towards the DHD.

Sam spun around and shot anything that moved. She breathed a sigh of relief when the familiar swish was heard and the blue swirl appeared.

"You're clear to go on my mark," Jack radioed. The two SGC teams watched a grenade fly over head and land in the mist of the enemy. A slight tremor rumbled under their feet.

"NOW!" Jack yelled giving his command cover fire.

They raced towards the gate. SG-12 practically flew though the pool of safe haven. SG-1, however, waited for Jack giving him cover fire.

"Thanks," he called dashing towards them. Suddenly, zat and staff blasts began to rain around them. Daniel managed to make it to the gate unharmed. He turned and looked in horror at his teammates, not knowing if he should stay or go.

Jack took one look and Daniel and saw the confusion in his eyes. "Oh, for cry'n out loud, GO!" Daniel gave them one last look then took the final step.

Sam was the next closest to the gate. Teal'c and Jack gave her cover fire, but an unlucky zat blast downed her.

"Major Carter!" Teal'c called.

Jack's head spun around. 'No please don't let it be,' he thought. A sigh of relief went through him as he realized it was just a zat stun. However, the situation did present a problem. With Sam zatted, she needed time to recover before she could walk, yet if she stayed where she was she would most likely die.

Before Jack could make a move Teal'c ran from his hiding place. He had only made it half way before a staff blast took him down. 'Now or never,' Jack decided. He was closer to Teal'c, so he grabbed his friend by the arm and pulled him along dodging the enemy's fire. Still dragging Teal'c, he at long last reached Sam. Bending down he grasped her around the shoulders and made for the Stargate.

"Almost there," he muttered through clinched teeth, as he worked his way up the platform steps. Suddenly a sharp pain erupted in his lower back, then another in the upper. He dropped his heavy loads and sunk to the ground. Three more feet. He rolled Teal'c into the blue swirl. He felt another pain in his thigh.

By this time Sam was stirring. She looked into his eyes and saw the pain. She wanted to reach up and grab his hand but her muscles wouldn't let her.

"Shh Sam you're ok. We're the last ones let's go." The staff blasts were coming quicker and heavier. He moved his body in front of Sam's just as a blast came from behind them. The force of the hit threw Jack into her.

"Sir!" she screamed grabbing his hand.

All thought and feeling was leaving him. He knew it wouldn't be long. 'Must protect Sam' he thought and gave one final push sending her though the gate. The shove propelled him only half way into the swirl, but the hold she had on his hand pulled him the rest of the way in.

He heard the iris swivel shut behind him as he landed on the hard grate. "Wish they'd put something soft on this stuff, would make landings a hell of a better" he said, trying to keep things in a light mood. He wouldn't tell her he knew there was nothing they could do. She didn't know how many times he'd been hit.

"Sorry Sam," he moaned. He didn't want her to see him die, but it looked as though he didn't have a choice. As the medical team ran up with a stretcher his head rolled back in her arms.

"No, Jack stay with us," she whispered tears streaming down her cheeks. "Stay with me."

The medic bent down and held a hand up to Jack's neck. Looking back to General Hammond he shook his head.

The General was stunned. After everything that SG-1 had been through he assumed they would always find their way back. Everything would be okay. 'Not this time,' he thought watching the remaining members mourn around the body of their beloved CO.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

A/N OK folks let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is nice, and so are reviews!!!


	2. The Beginning of End

Jack woke to the sound of Taps. He sat up and looked around. "What the hell?!" Jumping up, Jack looked around. He was in the SGC morgue. "When I get my hands on…" He suddenly stopped as he stared at the bed he just got up from. "Damn!"

Jack stared at himself. His lips where a tad blue and his hands where crossed over his chest. He could tell that whoever was on the table was dead. He cringed as the trumpets continued. "Hold it if he looks like me, then they think…" He raced over to the double doors. Reaching out he tried to pull on the handle. Instead, his hand passed through the metal. He tried it again, only to have his hand go through the door.

Jack gave up and walked through the door. He cringed, this was weird. He needed to find Carter and figure out what was wrong with him. He made it to the Gate Room in record time. On his way he noticed the halls were empty a rare occurance even if there was a memorial service.

He quietly slipped into the back as not to disturb anyone. Feeling a bit odd when no one looked as he entered the room, he looked for his team. He saw finally saw them standing on the walkway to the Gate. They stood in such perfect military posture it would make any man proud. He had taught them well. The trumpets stopped and Major Carter walked to the podium. She turned to face the throng of militia men and women. Jack waved from the back trying to catch her attention and hoping he wouldn't freak her out, but she looked right past him.

Odd.

"Colonel O'Neill was a wonderful leader. He commanded attention and respect. He did his best to make sure that every person under his command was safe. And more importantly, he had one rule: No one gets left behind. It is because of that rule that many of us are standing here today, Teal'c, Daniel, and myself inparticular. Many times Colonel O'Neill was willing to sacrifice his life in order to save the world. He died saving his team. Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for a friend. Today we honor a hero the world will never know, let us always carry his love in our hearts." Major Carter stepped down. General Hammond took her place.

Meanwhile, Jack was a bit surprised. Finally, he'd had enough. He walked straight through the crowd and stood in front of the General. He turned and looked the assembly in the eye.

"Okay folks! As much as Daniel might like to have memorials for himself this is a bit unnessary because I'm not dead. I don't know what I am right now, but dead I am not. So…" He stopped. Nobody was listening to him. In fact they didn't react to his outburst. Then he noticed that the General had begun his speech.

"…died in the service" George was saying.

"Excuse me General, with all due respect I was talking first. You can stop the memorial."

The general just kept going.

Jack started to feel sick. Everything was clicking: the body in the morgue, the walking through solid objects, the fact no one noticed he was there. It was just too much.

"Acck!!!" he raised his hands wanting everything to pause for just a moment. And it did. I actually took Jack a few seconds to realize that everything had stopped.

"Oookay." He said. "I'm dead. I can stop time. No one can see me. I can walk through walls. This is a problem." And at that moment he realized exactly what he was.

He was a ghost.

Suddenly he saw the potential. He began to make a mental list of things he wanted to do. A smile broke out on his face as one idea after another popped into his mind.

"Sweet!" he stated realizing all the fun and trouble he could cause at the SGC with out getting in trouble himself.

All he had to do was figure out how to use solid objects. He wasn't falling through the floor and all the old ghost stories told of ghosts moving solid objects, so there had to be a way to move them.

His mind was still racing when he realized that time was still standing still. Okay top of the list figure out how to make time go again, then work on the solid objects.

A/N

WOW two chapters I one day!!! You guys are lucky. Yeah okay I know this is short but I want to know what you guys would like to see Ghost Jack do I already have several ideas, but I need some more. As always R&R,

ARUNA


	3. Disccoveries

Jack didn't know how long he had actually made time stand still. Ironically, the person who could help him solve the problem was standing next to him, only she was frozen. Plus there was that annoying little problem of no one being able to see him.

'Stopping time was so easy,' Jack thought. 'How hard could it be to start again?' He tried to concentrate on launching time. No luck. Suddenly a very encouraging thought popped into his mind: If everyone in the base was frozen in time, what about the people who weren't on base? The prospects of what he could do if this was the case were very agreeable.

The walk to the elevator was very interesting. Taking the newfound short cut, walking through walls, it took all of 15 seconds. Once inside the metal doors, Jack tried to press the button.

"Oh! For crying out loud!" he yelled in despair. He was trapped on the 28th floor until someone who was alive could use the elevator, and unfortunately they were all frozen in time.

"This s just perfect," Jack muttered. "Too bad I can't fly. I could just float out of here." Jack was still silently cursing himself when he suddenly stopped and looked down. The elevator was far below. His eyebrows raised in a fashion that could beat Teal'c any day.

"OOkay…" He looked up. The elevator tunnel should have been dark. Why could he see way past what he was supposed to? Jack continued to rise, erupting from the mountain like a mini-volcano. He gave a whoop of joy as he felt the cool air blow on his face.

"Sweet!!!" He flew fast and low towards Denver, reaching the large city which should have taken a few hours within a matter of minutes. Jack looked down at the crowded streets filled with stationary figures.

Oh boy! He was starting to get a bit frightened. Yea he did have a few practical jokes that would be funny, but this was getting out of hand. He turned and made his way back to the SGC.

Back at Stargate command, Jack made his way to the place where this whole mess had started that morning, the morgue. Maybe he would find some answers there.

"I don't look so good do I?" he said to his body. "Wonder how any holes those snakeheads put in me?" He reached forward and froze. Yanking his hand back he stared at it in horror. Touching your own dead body was freaky.

Wait a minute, touching? That was when Jack realized that his hand didn't penetrate the stiff shoulder lying on the table.

"Great when I really need to push buttons I can't, but I can touch dead bodies all I want." He stared at his body for awhile before getting up enough nerve to touch it again. At first he quickly poked at it. He eyed it warily, like at any second the eyelids would pop open.

Finally, Jack placed a firm hand on his arm and turned. A gasp escaped his lips. His back was coved with burned black tissue and had six clearly identifiable holes where a staff blast had impacted. His eyes rested on the back of his head.

"Ah! That would explain the headache in the Gateroom."

Gently he rolled the body back over, and gracefully coved it with a drape. Resting his hands on the steel table surface he sighed. What had he gotten himself into? He started to rock forward on his palms, when he fell forward and straight through the table.

Shaking his head, Jack looked at the table in surprise. He'd been leaning on a solid surface! Jumping up, he walked over to the door. 'Think solid, think solid' he chanted reaching forward with no success. He thought back to the table. He turned back to the door.

He stretched his hand towards the handle.

Jack felt the cold steel in his hand. He tightened his grip and pulled. The door opened.

"Yes!!!" He shouted with glee. He pranced down the halls purposely running into things. "I can not go though stuff if I don't want to!!!!" What did he care if he was making a fool of himself? No one was around to see and even if they were they couldn't see him.

He had learned that all a ghost had to do was imagine that they were grasping the solid object and they could pick it up move it or what ever with it. That was why he wasn't falling though the floor or floating 3 feet above it. He believed the floor was there, so his ghost body reacted as if the floor was there.

A smile crept across Jack's face. He was pretty sure he knew how to un-freeze everyone. There was just one order of business he had to do before awaking the troops.

Several minutes later a very smug looking Jack lay floating above the crowd in the Gateroom. With a wave of his hand the motionless people awoke from their slumber. General Hammond continued his speech. Suddenly the somber faces showed confusion and surprise.

Oh yes! No doubt about it. Being able to freeze time was very useful. Jack's smile grew as he watched all hell break loose below.

A/N

HaHaHa!!! Bet you want to know what Jack did during the minutes before awaking the troops that caused such a stir in the Gateroom, don't ya?! Review if you want to find out!!! Thanks for reading!!! Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Aruna


	4. A Memorial SGC style

Samantha Carter stood at attention trying hard maintain her emotions. As a military officer she had been trained to keep emotions at bay, not to cry or grieve over the death of comrades. Jack O'Neill, however, was more than a fellow officer. He was a friend, a mentor, and most importantly she loved him. The Air Force had kept them apart with the regulations, but they could never stop Sam from loving Jack. The Air Force couldn't court martial them, because Sam and Jack had never taken their feeling past admitting they had feeling. Okay that wasn't exactly true, they had kissed a few times, but that was under the influence of alien technologies.

That was until the day Jack died and had kissed her. She would never forget the bittersweet memory of Jack's goodbye. They had never talked about the Za'tarc incident since Sam had said what she did. She had always wondered in the back of her mind if he really loved her. All thoughts of doubt were washed from her mind with his kiss. She knew then that he truly loved her.

Now she stood at attention not really listening to the General's speech trying unsuccessfully to keep the tears from spilling from her puffy eyes and falling down her cheeks. Why? She kept asking herself over and over.

Suddenly, the somber mood was broken. Sam's head snapped up, as she surveyed the site around her. General Hammond's hat was sitting backwards above his head. The rest of the …

Above his head?!!

Sam shook her head and looked again. The hat was in its proper place. But that was the only thing that was.

A minute before, the soldiers had been standing at attention. Now? Well let's just say you couldn't get further away from 'at attention'. Some were itching all over, using anything they could find to scratch themselves as a white powder fell from their clothes. The marines were gawking at one other, each man sporting a lovely shade of lipstick on their faces, and a lacy bra and matching underwear on the outside of their dress blues. SG12 where literally tied together by their shoe laces, and were tripping over one another as each one attempted to get free. Sergeant Siler had collapsed to the floor from the weight of the three gigantic wrenches now resting on his chest.

Sam looked back to the General to see his reaction. It looked as if the General wouldn't be of any help, he was trying to get an excess of polish off his bald, and now extremely shiny head.

"Major Carter," Teal'c called. "Is not the flag supposed to fly with the blue and white stars on the upper left corner?" he asked.

"Yes T. Why?" she asked confused. With everything else going on Teal'c could only worry about the flag? She watched as he pointed towards the Stargate. Her eyes followed his finger. She almost cracked up laughing. The flag was flying upside-down and backwards.

"Daniel, this is …" Sam stopped and tried to suppress a giggle. _Tried_ being the key word.

Daniel's head looked more like a Nox head than a Daniel Jackson head. Grass and weeds poked this way and that. Streamers fell in long lengths to the floor. Every time he moved odd and ends, such as straws and pieces of what Daniel hoped was beef jerky, would fall from the unusual hat.

Sam turned so that Daniel wouldn't see her laugh and saw Janet Frasier by the ramp. She was bent over and giving off little 'Ouches' every few seconds.

"Janet?" Sam walked over. Her mouth dropped open.

It looked as though Janet had sat on a porky pine. Dozens of needles protruded from the physician's rear area. Sam watched torn between hysterics and horror as Janet winced continuing to pull the offending needles out of her.

Suddenly, General Hammond called everyone to attention. Sam and Janet snapped up. "Oww," Janet moaned as one of the needles still stuck poked her again.

General Hammond stared mincingly at the crowd of squirming troops before him. His face was growing redder by the second. "WHO DID THIS!" he yelled, his shiny head reflecting light from the ceiling.

No one moved.

"I asked a question! I expect an answer!" he commanded. He was really steaming now. How dare one of his offices disrespect the memorial service of one of their own fallen in battle, especially someone as close to him as the playful Jack O'Neill. He was about to really lay into the troops when Sergeant Walter Harriman's voice blared over the overhead.

"General Hammond to the control room!" George looked up and saw panic on Walter's face. George raced from the Gateroom followed by SG-1 and Dr. Frasier.

"Sergeant?" He asked stomping into the room.

"I don't know sir. A minute ago everything was fine then this appeared," he motioned for the General to look at the computer screen.

JOke.

"Joke? What does that mean?" the General demanded, looking at Walter and then SG-1.

"I have absolutely no idea sir." Sam's answered. She was getting really angry at the person who would do this. Tears threatened to spill again and she lifted her hand to wipe her eyes. To her surprise, she suddenly found a tissue in her hands. Examining it closer she saw four letters: JOke.

Her eyes widened and she dropped the tissue. This wasn't funny anymore.

Daniel reached down and picked up the lost hankie. He silently handed it to the General who motioned it.

General Hammond looked from the tissue, to the computer screen, and then at the Gateroom filled with itching soldiers, cross dressed marines, and clumsy teams. Running a hand over his slick head he thought to himself, 'What the hell is going on?'

From above, Jack O'Neill roared with laughter. And this was just day one! Staring at the General's confused face and shiny head, he wiggled his eyebrows and rubbed his hands together evilly. "Let the games begin!" he laughed.

A/N

I'd like to thank all those who have reviewed. I love your input. I would especially like to thank DementedLeaf for the idea of having undergarments in the gateroom. I also want to thank StuSue for the Idea of seeing Sam's feelings more. If you want to see what Jack has planed next please review, as always I love to hear what you think!

Aruna


	5. Lights, Shiny Head, Action!

SG-1 sat in the briefing room, looking very apprehensive as General Hammond stormed mincingly through the door. They shot up to salute him.

"As you were," he commanded. They eased back into their chairs. "I want to know what the hell happened out there today. I want whoever was in charge punished."

"Sir," Major Carter began. "We ran a diagnostic on the computers and no one seems to have hacked into the system. The only activity found was Walter's, and I know that he would never do anything like that." She looked at Teal'c motioning him to divulge the information he had gathered.

"General Hammond, I questioned everyone in attendance at O'Neill's memorial. They have all claimed no knowledge of the mysterious happenings. However, they did express sympathy to you and SG-1 on the loss of O'Neill." The large Jaffa informed the group.

About this time, Dr. Frasier entered the room. "General Hammond? Here is the lab work from the powder on the men at the service. It was a premium grade itching powder mixed with poison ivy and oak." Janet looked quizzically at SG-1 who were suppressing giggles. "It appears that not only the original team, but SG-12 and a few others are now infected with it."

Muffled snorts and giggles were heard again. This time General Hammond stared at the team, effectively eliminating the sounds.

Janet continued, "I gave them antihistamines and lotion to ease the itching, Other than that they should be just fine, but it will take at least a week before they can go off world."

"Thank you Doctor," General Hammond replied turning back to SG-1. From behind him he heard a chuckle. Whipping around he saw the doctor trying hard not to smile and failing miserably at it. Glancing back at SG-1 he saw the same reaction, even from Teal'c!!!

"What's going on!" he demanded. The faces staring back at him looked like little kids who had just robbed the candy dish and were acting like noting had happened when the parents walked into the room. Finally, Teal'c caved.

"General Hammond in future meetings I would suggest dimming the lights or wearing a hat. The reflections cast from your head appear to have an amusing effect on the others in the room."

Hammond subconsciously ran a hand across his head. "Thank you Teal'c he said with a tight voice. SG-1 just find whoever did this. Dismissed. Oh! Doctor Frasier how are you're wounds?"

Janet's face turned red. "Umm…fine sir. No permanent damage."

"That's good."

As they made a hasty retreat down the hall they overheard the General. "Walter!"

"Yes sir?"

"Do you by any chance have a mirror?"

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

"You do have to admit the way the lights kept shining off his head was hysterical!" Daniel was still laughing an hour later in the mess hall.

"It was amusing Daniel Jackson," Teal'c replied. "Have you made any progress in your investigation Major Carter?"

There was no answer. "Major Carter?" Teal'c called again. Still there was no answer. Daniel leaned across the table to where Sam was sitting, staring off in space. Gently he tapped her arm.

"Sam are you okay?" he asked.

She jumped. "What? Oh it's you Daniel. What did you say?" she asked distractedly.

"I asked if you were alright,"

As if she didn't even hear, she spoke, "The special today is chocolate cake." Following her gazed, the two men watched as the cook placed slices of the fresh cake on the mess hall's shelves.

They all watched in silence as other SGC personnel lined up to get their desert. Jack was always the first one inline on days when they had cake, especially days with chocolate cake.

Tears filled their eyes as memories flooded their minds. Suddenly, the lights went out. Sam counted to five expecting the emergency lights to flicker on any second. Nothing happened.

'That's odd,' she thought.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

Jack had been up to no good. His team looked so nervous waiting for Hammond he thought he'd loosen them up a bit. The moment Janet walked into the room he'd focused all the lights onto Hammond's head.

Jack flashed the lights this way and that, and by using a laser sight to a gun he created his own mini light show on top of Hammond's shiny head.

He smiled watching his team giggle. They needed a laugh. However, he started laughing when he heard that his special itching concoction had spread to other teams. It was a good thing that ghosts didn't get poison ivy or oak:)

It was rally funny when Hammond asked Walter for a mirror. Jack could still see the look on the surprised sergeant's face. That was priceless. He wished he'd had a camera. Wait he could freeze time. By that time he thought of it, the look was gone. Oh well there was always next time.

Jack was still smiling as he watched Hammond stand in front of the mirror trying to dull the polish. 'Not going to happen for awhile' he thought. 'I used that stuff on my coffee table and it made it so slick and shiny that nothing would stay on it for months!'

Finally, the General gave up and started on his paper work. Jack quickly fled the room. Paperwork torture enough when you were alive. He wasn't going to suffer though it when he was dead!

Jack moseyed though the halls. Abruptly he smelled something coming from the commissary kitchen. He walked though the cement into the cooking area and poked his head into the oven. Cake! Chocolate cake to be exact.

All of a sudden, Jack was very hungry. An idea formed in his mind and an evil smile spread across his face.

He raced through the level disabling all the battery powered emergency lights. Next, he waited for the cook to place the cake on the shelves in the mess hall where everyone could it. Dropping straight through the floor down to the breakers, Jack cut power to the room. Rushing back up, he grabbed all the slices of cake as the surprised troops stumbled around in the dark.

That's when he realized that he could see though the dark just as if the lights were on. "Sweet!" he exclaimed while collecting the cake for his next prank.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCGSC

A/N

I know it's short and not as funny as the previous chapter but I though you guys would like an update. Please review. A special thanks to all of those who have faithfully reviewed every chapter!

Aruna


	6. Where did the lights go?

Jack grinned as he raced along the darkened hall of the SGC. His pockets and hands were full. Gleefully he rushed into Gateroom. He floated to the top of the Stargate and jauntily placed a plate of the cake on the crest. Then, he hovered into the control room and left a piece of the desert on the control panel. Gliding through the walls he managed to strategically situate all the plates. Finally, he placed the final piece in General Hammond's office. His grin grew bigger as he pulled flashlight from his pocket. He'd been saving the light for a time just like this. When the victim of the prank turned on the light they received a low voltage shock. Teal'c had given it to Jack two years ago as a Christmas present and until now Jack hadn't found a situation where he could use it.

He heard the general cursing under his breath and stumbling in the dark. Jack maneuvered the light so that Hammond easily found it on his desk, counting down the seconds until the shock would be administered.

Unaware of his plight, the older man pushed the on button with a sigh of relieve. Sparks flew and the general dropped the light. "What the…?" He nursed his shocked hand. Jack roared with laughter.

Suddenly Jack remembered the rest of his prank and flew back to the commissary. He laughed watching the soldiers stumble over each other. Shaking his head, Jack reached into his pockets and pulled out a baggie filled with tiny bits. Carefully he mixed the contents into large vanilla pudding container. Finally, he pried the top off the drink machine and dumped in a large package of powder.

Jack knew that Siler would have the lights on any second now, so he floated to the top of the room and waited to see his gag played out.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGSCSGCSGC

Just as predicted, the lights came on causing everyone to blink and shield their eyes from the brightness.

"What happened?" Daniel asked holding his hand up to block the light.

"I don't…" Sam began, but the rest of her sentence was drowned out by the cries from the desert line.

"Hey!!!" one person yelled.

"What happened to the cake?" someone else demanded. While yet a third person just stood in stunned silence.

"Should we not endeavor to discover the source of the blackout Major Carter?" Teal'c asked.

"Huh?" Sam turned towards the Jaffa. "Oh yea, probably," she replied turning her attention back to the angry crowd who wanted their cake.

"I'll follow you guys up there in a sec," Daniel said standing. "I need to get a drink first."

Rising to their feet the other two members of SG-1 made their way out of the mess hall. Daniel watched them leave and impatiently hopped from one foot to another as he waited in line. He observed the cook bring a vat of fresh pudding out in place of the cake. Daniel heard moans of disappointment and watched as the pudding was sadly spooned onto the plates meant for the cake.

The line for the drinks moved and the person as the person in front of him finished. "Finally!" he muttered under his breath walking up to the drink machine. Quickly, he poured himself a glass of soda, taking sips as he walked to the control room.

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"That's right Danny Boy, drink it up." Jack's eyes narrowed and a grin spread its way across his face in anticipation.

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"General, what happened?" Sam asked spotting Hammond.

"I don't know Major," he replied. "I was hoping that Siler would know, but he was just in the dark as anyone else." Hammond saw Sam eyes widen and realized what he had said. "No pun intended."

"Thought never crossed my mind, Sir" Sam tried to hide the grin. 'Jack would've loved to hear that,' she thought.

General Hammond saw her face and realized that the Major was thinking about Jack. "You know Sam, even though the Memorial was really messed up I think that Jack would have had a blast. If it wasn't his service, he would have been the first suspect on the list of culprits."

"I know. It's just everything that happens out there, you try not to think of the inevitable. Then, wham it hits you when you least expect it. It's hard. Everywhere I go I feel his presence," Sam wiped her eyes.

Teal'c, who had been listening from next to the Major, silently slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "O'Neill was a great warrior for his people and will be sorely missed. However, let us not dwell on his death, but his hope that one day the universe will be free."

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'Hummm…Sam can feel my presence. This could be useful.' Jack thought listening in. He had gotten bored following Daniel and watching him slooooowly drink his beverage, and had decided to see what Carter and Teal'c were up to. Okay so maybe he was being a little herd on them, but hey your only dead once! He almost caved when he saw Carter's eyes tear up. He hovered right next to Sam reaching out he wiped away a stray tear with out thinking. Dumb move. He saw her eyes widen. He raced back to the top of the ceiling wondering what to do.

Suddenly, Jack heard a dull sound echoing down the halls. Some of the great things about being a ghost were an increased hearing capacity and the ability to see through solid matter, like cement walls for instance. Peering through the wall confirmed his suspicion. Thank god for Daniel! And for that nifty little place he'd found that sold all those neat prank helpers!

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Sam's eyes widened. She could swear that she felt someone touch her cheek. She started to glance around. 'Must have been Teal'c's hand she thought. Sliding away from her friends grasp, she moved towards the door and collided with Daniel.

"Sorry!" he rasped. "What happened? Why did the…" a loud belch escaped Daniel's lips. "Excuse me!" he said slightly embarrassed.

"Soda?" Hammond asked knowingly.

"Yes, Sir. Do you…" Daniel burped again. His face was somewhat red as he muttered and apology.

"No one seems to know what…" Sam tried to explain but was interrupted by a loud, Buhhh!

"Daniel Jackson, are you alright?" Teal'c asked concerned for his friend.

"I'm just fi…" he burped again.

"Dr. Jackson?" Hammond questioned.

"Sir it's just…" Daniel couldn't finish the sentence as another annoying Blaaah escaped his throat.

"Infirmary!" the General ordered. Daniel's shoulders slumped and he started out the door. Poor Daniel, however, didn't even make it that far before another one came. He heard hushed giggles coming from behind him.

"I do have ears you kno…" Another burp.

"Major I believe that we will accompany Dr. Jackson to see Dr. Frasier." General Hammond ordered. "After you Teal'c." He motioned the Jaffa to go in front. Every three or so feet Daniel belched, onlookers tried to keep quiet until he passed, but Daniel could swear he heard laughter echoing down every hall.

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Jack was laughing so hard it was difficult to even see straight. He should have done this years ago. Poor Spacemonkey. However, Jack thought, if the general was expecting to be the only group in the infirmary, he was sure going to be surprised!

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Daniel was really, really angry. He didn't know what was wrong, but he knew someone had been up to no good. He'd swear that it was Jack's doing if it had happened last week. Now, he was wondering if all the jokes and gags that had been played on him really had been Jack's. "Oh man! I accused Jack of all those things and the whole time Jack had been innocent! Why didn't Jack tell me?"

"Daniel Jackson were you speaking to me?" Teal'c asked.

Daniel realized he's been talking out loud. "No Teal'c," he replied absentmindedly. 'All that time…' Shocked, Daniel stopped in his tracks.

It wasn't just because of his recent thoughts either.

The infirmary was jam packed. People were on the beds, the chairs, the counters, and many others were milling about complaining about the long wait. They were marines, cooks, techs, and scientists. But they all had one thing in common.

Blahhhh!

"Daniel, come on we don't have all day," Sam's voice called from behind him.

"Ah, General I think you might want to use that chain of command thing right about now," Daniel called back.

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Jack was really hysterical now. Oh man, was really Janet confused. He could just see her mind working, thinking things like, "What would cause this" and "How do I stop it?"

The look on Daniel's face was even better. And those things he'd said out loud? Hah! Well he couldn't correct Daniel, and even if he could why spoil those good false thoughts!

Jack turned his attention to General Hammond, who was making his way through the burping crowd.

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"Dr. Frasier!" Hammond yelled. "What the hell is going on here?"

"I wish I knew!" she exclaimed from somewhere on his left. He elbowed through the crowd.

"Can you cure it?" He demanded.

"Sir, I don't even know what caused it. Until I do, I can't even begin to think of a cure. It could stem from millions of things." She was about to say more when a voice on the over heard speakers called out.

"Dr. Frasier to the commissary! Dr. Frasier to the commissary!"

The doctor grabbed the General's arm and pulled him towards the exit. Once there, they met with SG-1 and together ran to the mess hall.

Stepping into the room they saw people with tears streaming down their faces.

"What's the problem?" the doctor demanded.

"We're crying," a young marine called out.

"Why?" Hammond asked.

"We don't know, and we can't stop," a frantic cook yelled.

SG-1 looked around in confusion at the familiar faces.

"Major Carter," Teal'c began. "Are not these people the same as the ones in line to receive the cake earlier?"

"I think you're right, T. They were all ready for the cake then the lights went out and when they came back on the cake was gone." Sam confirmed his suspicion.

"Wait a minute that reminds me," Hammond spoke up. "When the lights came back on there was a piece of chocolate cake on my desk. And Walter found one in the control room."

"But what does cake have to do with people burping and crying all over the base?" Janet wanted to know.

"They were all in the commissary," Daniel announced triumphantly, and proceeded to burp again.

"Exactly," Sam confirmed.

"So you're saying that what ever is wrong with everyone has to do with something in the mess hall?" the general asked.

"Indeed," Teal'c declared as Daniel tried to muffle his belches.

"Let's start with the burping. We were with Daniel the whole time SG-1 was eating except right after the lights went out and we went to the control room. So why aren't Teal'c and I burping?" Sam asked.

"Because I stayed behind and got a drink," Daniel recalled.

"So let's get a sample of the soda." Sam grabbed a cup from the stack next to the machine and poured a small amount of the soft drink into it.

"So the drink makes people burp, but what would make them cry?" Janet asked.

"I remember…" Daniel turned his back to the group and covered his mouth. "Excuse me, I remember the cook bringing out a vat of pudding to replace the cake."

General Hammond quickly stepped into the middle of the room full of crying people. "Raise your hand if you ate the pudding," he commanded. Almost instantaneously every hand shot up. Turning back to SG-1 he said, "Looks like it was the pudding. Get a sample and test it Major." He dismissed them and headed back for his office.

Several hours later, he heard a knock on his door. "Come!"

Major Carter entered holding a file. "I just finished with the tests Sir."

"And?"

"Some one put a substance called diaurthro glucarbonate into the soda machine, when combined with the soda it made on hell of a burping powder."

"Burping powder? Is there even such a thing?" Hammond asked amazed.

"Actually sir yes there is. I just looked it up on the internet. It causes almost immediate uncontrollable burping for several hours when mixed with liquid or food." Sam explained.

"And the crying was from crying powder?" Hammond questioned.

"No. The pudding definitely was spiked. But no gag powders were used. It was finely grated onions." Sam reported trying not to laugh.

"Onions? In the pudding? And they didn't realize something was wrong?"

Hammond was aghast. What kinds of people were keeping the world from certain doom? Ones that played practical jokes and didn't notice onions in their pudding!

"General Hammond to the control room!" Walter's voice echoed through the base. Hammond jumped up and raced out the door followed by Sam.

"What is it?" Hammond demanded while still halfway down the stairs.

"It's the Stargate sir!"

"What's wrong with it?" Sam asked preparing to run diagnostic.

"I noticed something on top of it, so Siler got a lift and checked it out. Turned out to be half of a chocolate cake." Walter began.

"Then why did you sound so urgent over the PA?"

"While Siler was still up there the gate started dialing by itself, only the seventh chevron will not engage. Then this message appeared on all the base computers."

Due to recent cutbacks the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

JOke

5

4

3

2

1

"What the…" was all the General had time to say before the base was pitched into total darkness.

"What ever you do," everyone heard General Hammond say. "If you find a flashlight, trust me, you don't want to turn it on."


	7. Disappearing Act

Looking down at his own body, Jack O'Neill was deep in thought. He had only been to a few minutes of his memorial service and that was way too much. He couldn't imagine everyone else having to go through a funeral as well. There was only one thing Jack could think of that would prevent his funeral. However, he also knew that it would cause chaos. Oh well!

Without a second thought he froze time. It wouldn't be good if someone were to spot his lifeless body floating through the halls! 'Hey maybe I could…Stop it Jack!' he mental commanded himself. 'You need to lay off the big stuff for awhile. Everyone is getting really suspicious.' But he couldn't help himself. He made a quick detour and then was on his way again with a smile.

Jack watched as the ground flew by under him. The land soon turned to sea and then to snow as Jack headed for the one place where his body would be preserved yet not found, Antarctica.

'Man, I need to lose a few pounds,' he thought carrying his body. With a sigh of relieve he landed in a large underground cavern and placed his body on the ice while he looked for someplace to put it. The time spent in this very cave was finally of some use. Jack found a good spot and hauled his body through the ice away from the main chamber which at one point had held the second gate. Gently, he laid his body on the ice. Taking one last look he sped upwards and back towards the SGC.

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Hammond was frustrated. No one could explain what had happened with the computers, electric, commissary, or Jack's service. But what irritated the general most were the mysterious letters in front of him. JOke. What the hell did it mean?

Major Carter at first reported that it was a typo. However, staring at the other samples of the word that had been gathered Hammond was certain it meant something, though what he didn't know. But he did know that after that last blackout, everyone who had been affected by the prank had found a joker playing card in their locker. Each card had the word JOke printed in block letters on the back.

Hammond stared at the card found in his locker hoping something would stick out. He was interrupted by a knock on his door. "Come!" he called.

Walter entered with a large envelope in his hands. "Sir, you wanted the rest of the cards that were found." The sergeant held the think yellow pack towards Hammond. The general took the envelope and peaked inside, letting out a whistle.

"That's a lot! Tell you what, send all the cards down to Dr. Jackson. Tell him he is to sort through them and see if anything sticks out," the sergeant saluted then left.

"Someone has WAY too much free time on their hands," the general muttered.

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Major Samantha Carter crept silently down the halls. She prayed that she didn't run into anyone. Every sound spooked her. Sam knew she shouldn't be doing this, but she knew she needed to do this. Jack had meant so much to her, and although she had never been able to tell him all those years ago she was going to tell him now. It was her last chance to. Dr. Frasier was shipping the body to the funeral home in the morning and the funeral was the day after that. Sam would never get to be alone with Jack once that happened.

Relief flooded her as she quickly ducked into the morgue. The cold sent a chill through her. Sam glanced around the room. Walking over to the metal drawers she looked at the labels. A few minutes later Sam looked around confused. Jack's body wasn't there. Maybe he was that lump under the sheet on the autopsy table.

Sam tiptoed over and peered under the sheet. "Uggghh, nope not him," she winced at the smell and recovered the dead Jaffa. She spied a table with a crumbled sheet at the end by the freezers. Intrigued, Sam walked over to it. Her heart sank when she saw the name tag tapped to the end of the cot: J. O'Neill.

"Damn," she felt like crying. Janet had already given the okay for Jack to be sent to the funeral home. Dejectedly, Sam strode out of the morgue and back to her lab. Why didn't Janet tell her? Sam picked up her tools and began working on her naquada generator. Her thoughts were a million miles from where they were supposed to be.

Suddenly, the screwdriver slipped and jabbed Sam's hand. She jerked her hand away, blood dripping all over the lab floor. Looking around she spied a clean cloth that she hadn't noticed earlier. Grabbing it, Sam applied pressure and ran to the infirmary running right into Dr. Frasier.

"Sam what's wrong?" Janet asked. Then she saw the blood soaked rag. "Come here." She commanded pulling Sam with her. Several minutes later, Dr. Frasier looked up from stitching Major Carter's hand. "You were lucky. A little further in and it could have caused severe nerve damage."

"Thanks Janet. I guess my mind was else where," Sam replied.

"I know what you mean. I think we're all a little out of it. It may sound horrible, but I'm actually kind of glad that this happened. I was just on my way to finish preparing the body."

"I know what you mean. It really stank." Sam let out a little giggle. Janet gave her a look.

"His body shouldn't stink. It's been well preserved since he died," the doctor informed her.

"Janet, Sg-14 brought that body back for study. The guy had been dead for almost two days when they found him."

"Sam, I wasn't talking about the Jaffa. I was referring to Colonel O'Neill."

"Colonel O'Neill? I thought you already sent him to the funeral home. I went down their a few minutes ago. He's not there," Sam's eyes grew round.

Janet ran from the room with Sam close behind. Rushing into the morgue, Janet went straight for where Jack's body was supposed to be. "Where is he," she muttered. The doctor then ran to the freezers and flung the doors open examining the contents of each one. She turned to face Sam, the panic rose in her voice, "He's gone!"

Sam said the first thing that came to mind, "Ya think?"

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Jack had just made it back to the SGC when he saw Major Carter sneaking down the halls. Curious, he followed her. When she stepped inside the morgue, he almost wished he'd left his body there just to see what she was going to do.

He felt guilty watching her look for him, although he did enjoy the look on her face when she lifted the cloth covering the dead Jaffa.

Jack trailed Sam back to her lab and hopped up on the desk. He watched her face, knowing that she wasn't really thinking about work. He wished he could reach over and touch her face, let her know that he was okay. But, he restrained himself. Suddenly, he saw her hand slip and start to pierce her smooth skin. He reached out and stopped it from going any further, regretting that he hadn't been able to prevent it from happening in the first place.

Then, Jack grabbed a cloth from the other side of the room and put it where she could easily reach it. He would have carried her straight to the infirmary, but he didn't want to scare her. Sam ran from the room blood still dripping from her wound.

Jack watched her go. He mentally smacked himself. 'I should have just left the body there. She'll never just accept that it disappeared. That was so stupid.' He started head for the infirmary, when he noticed the blood on the floor and remembered something that Sam had once said. They had been training new recruits and part of the training had involved making the new recruits believe he'd been shot. After the group had left Sam's lab, Jack had taken off the vest that was seeping fake blood. "Sir, if you don't mind you're "wound" is dripping all over my lab." Jack smiled as an idea formed in his head.

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Meanwhile, Daniel had just started to take a shower when General Hammond's voice echoed through the overhead. "Dr. Jackson to the briefing room immediately."

He moaned and opened his eyes. They grew wider when he saw his hands. Then he saw the water. Jumping out, he grabbed a towel and ran to a mirror praying he wasn't right.

He closed his eyes then opened them again. His scream filled the locker room.

Daniel was red from head to toe. His hair was dyed red, his finger and toe nails were painted red, and he had on red lipstick. Not to mention, that his skin was also red!

Daniel ran back to the shower and grabbed his soap. He began to scrub furiously, but the more he scrubbed, the redder his skin got.

General Hammond's voice blared through the speakers again. "DR. JACKSON TO THE BRIEFING ROOM NOW!!!"

'Oh boy, he means it' Daniel thought. 'What am I going to do?' Suddenly, he came up with an idea. Running to his quarters, Daniel threw on some clothes. Then he rushed to the briefing room. Receiving stares from everyone he passed.

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General Hammond was getting impatient. Walter had been unable to locate Dr. Jackson and the general wanted the report on Daniel's findings on the joker cards.

He was just about to call for the archeologist again when Dr. Jackson dashed into the room. General Hammond just stared.

"What?" Daniel asked. General Hammond just stared. Daniel was wearing the standard issue green outfit. However, that wasn't what made the General stare. It was the gloves, hat, gas mask, and scarf that completed the outfit that made Hammond stare.

"Dr. Jackson what is going on?" he asked.

"Umm…nothing sir. You called me," Daniel tried to change the subject.

George Hammond had been a leader long enough to know when his soldiers were hiding something. However, it didn't take much to know that Daniel was hiding something. "Take off the hat and mask." He commanded.

Daniel winced. "Well Sir, I really don't…"

"Don't make me repeat myself Dr. Jackson,"

Daniel gulped and slowly removed his "ingenious" disguise. Hammond's mouth dropped open and Daniel swore he heard a chuckle. 'What the hell,' Daniel thought and removed the gloves and scarf too.

The General took a deep breath to keep from laughing. "Well Dr. Jackson," He paused collecting himself, "Have you made any…" Another deep breath, "progress in going over those cards?" Two breaths this time. "I was wondering if you," the General was really having a hard time trying not to laugh, "have you figured out what the meaning of JOke is?"

Daniel noticed Hammond attempts at not trying to laugh. "I've looked over every card. Nothing that would give us a clue as to who did this. As to what JOke stands for, I don't even know where to begin."

"Thank you dismissed." Hammond fled the room. Daniel was almost out the door when he heard the distinct sound of laughter coming from the General's office.

"This is just great," Daniel muttered. "How am I ever going to get this stuff off?" Then an even worse thought ran through his brain. "How am I ever going to live this down? Good thing Jack's not here. Oh, boy would that be bad!"

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Meanwhile Jack had remembered his little prank on Daniel. He left the stunned women in the morgue and scouted around for Daniel. He was just in time to see the General demand that Daniel remove his hat.

Red hair dye, $12.58, shiny water proof nail polish $3.74, red dye prank soap $7.98 the look on Hammond's face: priceless.

Jack watched the General run into his office. He was just getting ready to zoom back to Sam and Janet when he heard Daniel muttering.

"Good thing Jack's not here. Oh, boy would that be bad!" Daniel continued down the hall.

"Oh Danny boy, you have no idea. This is just the beginning." Suddenly the alarms started sounding.

"General Hammond to the morgue immediately!" Janet's panicked voice called.

Jack drifted down to the room. The sight he saw nearly broke his heart.

Sam was crying while Janet held her in her arms. "I failed him, Janet! I let him get killed and now I let his body disappear,"

"Shhh honey it ain't your fault. No body could have known this would happen." Janet soothed.

Sam was opened he mouth to say something else when General Hammond, Daniel, and Teal'c entered the room.

"What's going on," Hammond demanded.

"Sam came down to the morgue and couldn't find the Colonel's body she assumed that I had already sent it out. Then she cut her hand and I had to stitch it. I mentioned that I still had to finish with his body. That's when Sam told me he was missing. I've looked everywhere Sir. He's gone," Janet informed the General.

Hammond didn't waste a second. He marched over to the phone. "This is General Hammond, I'm ordering a shut down of the base no one leaves no one enters. I want a sweep done for Colonel O'Neill's body." He told Walter.

A few seconds later, the entire base was sealed off from the outside world.

At first, Jack didn't know what to think. Then the advantages of a lock down flooded his mind. However, both he and Carter were caught off guard when Daniel asked,

"Sam, why were in the morgue anyway?"

A/N

Hey guys sorry about taking so long to update. But as much as I love to write, real life calls. Thanks to all those who reviewed!!!

Aruna


	8. Whacky Day

When Daniel asked Sam that question, Jack's mind went into overdrive. He had to do something. He was starting to regret ever moving his body.

Suddenly Jack remembered a stunt he had been hoping to pull at a later time. However, now seemed like a good time to put it in action. Freezing time he sped through the SGC putting the plan together. Praying that it would work, Jack watched the scene before him come to life again.

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Meanwhile, Sam wished the floor would just open and swallow her up. She glanced around hoping for an escape. No Luck. "I…ummm…" she stuttered. She opened her mouth again, but just as she was about to say something Sergeant Siler ran into the room.

"General Hammond, I think you'll want to see this," Siler said then ducked back out of the room. The General proceeded to follow the sergeant with Teal'c, Daniel, and Janet tagging along.

"Oh thank god," Sam breathed a sigh of relieve and then headed off to see what was wrong now.

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As Hammond ran after Siler, he wondered what could possibly be wrong now. That's when the General noticed the base was no longer locked down. He continued following Siler to the control room. Siler stopped and stepped aside. The general looked in afraid of what he might find. A grin crept across his face. 'Well it's not too bad,' he thought.

Walter was snoring loudly on top of the control panel, a sleeping cap on his head and a blanket draped across him. A sign was pinned to the blanket. Hammond stepped closer to read it:

_Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine._

"Siler!" Hammond barked the general in him taking over again.

"Yes sir?"

"I want this base locked down again within the next minute. Then get Walter to his quarters."

"Yes Sir!" Siler walked over to the key boards. Suddenly, all the computers went crazy. The loud sirens woke Walter with a start.

"What the…" he began sitting up confused. Unfortunately, he lost his balance and fell to the floor.

By this time, Sam had arrived in the control room. "What's going on?" she asked.

"We are unsure," Teal'c replied as the gate started dialing on its own.

"Just shut it down, Major!" Hammond commanded.

Sam ran to the computer and reached for the key board. But what she saw shocked her. Instead of each key having a number, letter, and/or symbol, the keys had words. Every other one said "Any' and 'Damn it." However, one key different, 'PANIC.' Unsure of what to do she went to the next computer station. It was the same way. Sam went to every keyboard in the room and found them to be all alike.

"Uhh… Sir? I think we have a problem," she cringed just waiting for the General's reaction as he saw the keyboards.

"What the hell happened here?" he asked staring at the wacky key boards. "Do they still work?"

"I have no idea what will happen if I push the buttons. I need to run some tests first it could be a trap," Sam replied.

"Sam, that's a nice thought, but how are we going to shut down the gate?" Daniel questioned.

"We'll have to wait until the results come back," she replied.

"Sam we can't d that. Who knows were the gate is connected to? Anything could be coming through it," Daniel looked back to the general.

"Dr. Jackson is right Major Carter. We can't leave the gate open that long it needs shut down now." The general informed her.

"Major Carter, is this not considered to be a state of panic?" Teal'c asked.

"Yes I guess so," she answered slowly looking at Hammond who raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders.

"Would it not make sense to try pushing the 'panic' button?" Teal'c suggested.

"Teal'c does have a point Sam," Daniel interjected. "There is only one panic button on the key board for some reason."

Sam looked around pondering what Teal'c suggested. Looking up at the general she saw him shrug and mouth 'why not.'

"Okay, but first everyone else get out of this room." She waited until the room was clear. Timidly she pressed the key and closed her eyes expecting the worst. It never came, but the alarms and Stargate shut down!

"Wow! Panic buttons do work," she muttered.

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A few hours later, General Hammond sat in his office pondering why he had taken this assignment. After four sweeps of the base Jacks body hadn't been found. Even though he had wanted to keep the base shut down for a few more hours, the president had ordered him to reopen it. Major Carter still couldn't figure out what had happened earlier. At least the gate had dialed the Alpha Site.

George rubbed his eyes and laid back in his chair, "I'm getting too old for this."

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Jack was thrilled his plan had succeeded. Plus, he loved it when Carter had that confused look on her face, it made he so dang cute. Jack wished that he could let her know he was ok. He had thought of writing her a note, but decided not to. She could feel his presence and he could touch he face but that might freak her out and that was the last thing Jack wanted to do. If only there was someway he could talk to her and let her see him.

A light bulb went off in Jack's mind. He remembered that when Daniel was invisible because of that crystal skull Teal'c had heard his voice while Kelno'reaming. Maybe he could communicate through Teal'c.

Thankfully the base was shutting down for the night and Teal'c was in his room so Jack didn't have to look for him.

The tall Jaffa was sitting in the middle of the room, a hundred candles surrounding him. Jack walked through the flames and stood in front of his friend.

"Teal'c? Can you hear me?" Jack asked. Nothing. "Guess that's a no," Jack mused. He concentrated harder on making his presence known. "Teal'c?"

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Meanwhile Sergeant Matthews from SG-5 was making her way to Teal'c quarters. General Hammond wanted to the Jaffa, and being the newest person on base she was dubbed the messenger.

As Matthews walked slowly down the dull halls she wondered what Colonel O'Neill was like. From all the things she'd heard that afternoon the pranks being played were classic O'Neill stunts. However, some were beginning to doubt the Colonel had actually played the past jokes, many believing that he had only taken the credit for another's handiwork. Speculation on who the prankster could be was falling on all sorts of people from Siler to Sam Carter who mysteriously was never pranked.

Sergeant Matthews, however, had met O'Neill once right before he died. She had seen a glimmer of boyish mischief that was undeniable. She believed that whoever was doing the pranks now was a copy cat.

Still pondering these thoughts, Matthews knocked on Teal'c's door. No answer. The General had told her she probably would have to go in and arouse Teal'c from his Kelno'ream.

Opening the door she looked inside. Her eyes widened and a shrill scream echoed through the empty halls.

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A/N

HI guys! Sorry about the wait real life demanded my attention this past week. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!!

Aruna


	9. Visions in Paint

Jack jumped, his concentration broken by Sergeant Matthews scream. He looked around to see what had frightened her. Maybe some weird animal had made its way through the Stargate.

"There's nothing here," he muttered surprised. "Why did she…" suddenly Jack understood. His eyes brightened and a wicked grin crossed his face. This was going to be good!

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Teal'c had finally managed to find a quiet time when he could Kel'no ream. Pushing all of his trouble thoughts to the back of his mind he let his 'snake,' as O'Neill called it, take over his organ systems and cleanse his body.

He was in a deep trance when he felt an unusual presence in the room. Ignoring the nagging sensation to open his eyes, Teal'c continued to remain in his meditation. However, a shrill scream a few minutes later forced him to look.

Prying his eyes open he glanced around the room. Nothing was there, except a terrified Sergeant Matthews who stood pointing in front of Teal'c. He looked down at his symbiote pouch. Maybe 'Junior' had decided to take a gander at the outside world. Nope. The confused Jaffa stood and walked over to the young woman. His bulky form filling the doorway.

"What is wrong Sergeant Matthews?" he asked.

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Connie Matthews stood in shock. One second he had been right there and the next he was gone! She continued to stare unable to comprehend what exactly had happened.

She never noticed Teal'c arise and stand in front of her. The touch of his hand against her chill bump ridden skin caused another squeal of terror.

"Do not be frightened. I will not harm you," She looked up into the Jaffa's deep brown eyes.

"He was here," she said mechanically.

"Of whom do you speak?" Teal'c questioned.

The answer was short and precise. "Colonel O'Neill." That said the young woman fainted dead away into the stunned Jaffa's arms.

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"She said she saw who?!" General Hammond demanded into the phone. He had been in the middle of a very important briefing when Dr. Fraiser had paged him with an urgent message.

"Colonel O'Neill, Sir." Janet replied a slight tension in her voice. "Then she fainted and Teal'c brought her here."

"Well, she obviously didn't see O'Neill. Did you perform any tests?"

"Yes Sir. They all came back normal," the doctor stated.

"So you don't know what's wrong with her?" Hammond asked.

"No, Sir."

"Couldn't this have waited for another 20 minutes? SG-14 was being briefed on a very important…" the General was cut off by the doctor.

"Sir, Sergeant Matthews isn't the only one. Since Teal'c brought her to the infirmary I've had eight other officers come to me all claiming to have seen O'Neill. Those are only the ones willing to admit they saw something. Every one of the "sightings" occurred in different parts of the base. I think that there is some sort of hallucinogenic compound being spread around the post. Sir, we need to lock down the base until I can figure out what's causing these delusions." Janet informed the General as another person was escorted into the infirmary due to a Jack sighting. She sighed. "Sir, the problem is getting worse you need to make a decision and soon."

"A lockdown it is," Hammond responded. He motioned an airman to sound the alarm. A few minutes later, the entire base was sealed tight.

Hammond sighed. Would the madness ever end?

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While Hammond was ready to pull out his last five hairs, Jack was having a blast. He had learned how to make himself visible to his human counterparts and this was an opportunity not to be missed.

After leaving Teal'c room, O'Neill had headed straight for Carter's lab. He was going to let her see him and assure her he was okay. Then Jack had got to thinking that it might freak Sam out like it had Matthews. That's when he decided to have some fun. Instead of going to Carter's lab he headed for Dr. Lee.

Dr. Lee had been so shocked that he'd dropped the vial of liquid that Jack knew had taken a week to prepare. Oh well!

After spooking Lee, Jack went to find Simmons. The Colonel knew that the young man had a crush on Carter and who knew what would happen now that he was dead. Jack waned Simmons to know that even though he was dead, Sam was off limits.

Jack was pretty sure after that encounter Sam would never have to worry about Simmons again. In fact, Hammond should probably be expecting a transfer request.

The colonel then went to find Siler. He found him on a step ladder holding a three foot long wrench that did god knows what. One of Siler's underlings was standing under the ladder. Jack couldn't help himself. The guy should know better than to stand under a ladder. Didn't he know it brought bad luck?

Jack floated up to Siler's level. Then he leaned in close. "Whatcha doin'," Jack asked.

Siler looked over and froze. The wrench fell from his grasp. A dull thud echoed down the halls as the underling fell to the floor the wrench on top of him. Siler continued to stare at Jack, who gave a wave and then disappeared.

After Jack had appeared to over eight dozen SGC personnel, he was beginning to get bored. That's when he saw Daniel ambling down the hall. In two seconds flat, Jack thought of a new way to entertain himself. Grinning he went to the storage room.

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Daniel Jackson was frustrated. He had tons of translations to perform, even more artifacts to catalogue, and an almost never ending supply of coffee. Yet, he couldn't concentrate to do any of it. Ever since Jack had died Daniel had been restless and fidgety.

So now here he was pacing the hall of the SGC when he really should be doing work. Caught up in his own thoughts, he wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings. Suddenly, someone humming nearby broke his train of thought. "Nah it can't be," Daniel told himself. He was sure he just heard Jack humming the Simpson's theme.

Positive that he was mistaken, he continued down the hall. That was he meant to continue down the hall until he stepped into a slippery mess. Looking down he saw a footprint made from wet paint. "Oh for cryin' out loud!" he sputtered. "You'd think that when someone spilled something like that they would at least clean it up!"

Daniel started to head for the bathroom to wash off his shoes, when he noticed something. For every step he took, another foot print made from paint appeared in front of him. The archeologist shook his head closed his eyes and counted to 10. He reopened his eyes and took a step forward. Nothing happened. "I must have been imagining it," Daniel thought. He took another step. Nothing. He was almost positive now. He took several more steps. With each step his confidence grew.

Then it happened again.

Now Daniel was really freaked out. He turned on his heal and ran to the infirmary hopping Dr. Frasier wouldn't put him in an asylum.

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'Oh yeah, that was defiantly a Kodak moment,' Jack thought watching Daniel run. Now for the second part of the trick. Jack quickly began to clean up the paint. If Daniel brought anyone back to see it, all the evidence would be gone.

Death was great!

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Samantha Carter ran to the infirmary. General Hammond had just ordered another lockdown and an airman had said it had something to do with the medical wing. She hoped that Janet was okay.

"Major Carter," Hammond greeted her.

"General," she replied and looked around the room. People were scattered everywhere. Once Hammond had ordered the lock down, dozens of people started trickling into see Dr. Frasier.

"Sir what's going on?" Sam asked.

"We don't know. Dr. Frasier thinks a hallucinogenic compound has infected various areas of the base. I've had men checking all over and they've found nothing so far."

"What would make Janet think that?"

"Certain SGC personnel claim to be having visions," the General was hoping she wouldn't ask of what. He knew that even though Sam and Jack would never admit it, they loved each other. He knew that this new pandemic would rattle her. He also knew that she would defiantly ask about the visions.

And he was right.

"Visions of what sir?" she asked.

"They all claim to have seen Colonel O'Neill," the general carefully watched Sam's reaction. Her face paled noticeably and he heard a sharp intake of breath.

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Finally, after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, she spoke. "I'm going to go find Janet and see if I can help."

Vaguely she heard the general tell her to go. Sam blindly stumbled through the overcrowded infirmary to Janet's office. She desperately hoped that the doctor had found an explainable cause for all this madness.

"Sam," Janet looked up surprised.

The major got right to the point, "Have you found a cause yet?"

"No, there is no one area that we can search for a hallucinogen because every single person affected was in a different place. I'm actually doubting whatever this is is a hallucination."

"What make you say that?"

"Normally hallucinations are restricted to a different one for each person affected. Everyone here all claims to have seen the same thing, Jack O'Neill. Doing different things of course, smiling, waving, riding a bike down the halls, juggling the list goes on. However, it is important that we stop whatever is causing these visions. Siler dropped a wrench on an airman from four feet above the poor man. He's got a mild concussion. And then there's Daniel," Janet paused.

"What about Daniel?" Sam questioned anxiously.

"He swears that every time he took a step, a footprint made from paint appeared,"

"That's not a big problem. He must have stepped in some wet paint," Sam replied.

"In front of him? I sent an airman to check out the prints, there was noting there. No traces of paint. Sam I think this entire base is going crazy, and have no idea why."

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A/N

I would like to thank Demented leaf for allowing me to use the paint idea. I also want to that all of my faithful reviews. I know it might seem like a lot, but I would really love to have eight reviews before I post the next chapter, I love to hear what you think of the chapter and where you'd like to see the story go. Thanks,

Aruna


	10. Workouts, Rocks, and Roses

One week later, Hammond sat in his office pondering the unusual occurrences. Dr. Frasier could find nothing wrong with the personnel claiming to have the "Jackvisions" as they had come to be known. The base had been reopened five days ago, and gate travel was continuing as usual. Although, there had been at least five other sightings reported since then.

Dr. Frasier had speculated that the affected people were overworking and need rest. Hammond had ordered a weeks vacation to anywhere in the universe for those who had actually admitted they saw the "Jackvisions" before the announcement. No one had asked to be transferred, except Lieutenant Simmons. He had been very insistent that he be moved to the alpha site and as far away from the science laboratories as possible. Hammond had to wonder what the "Jackvision" Simmons had seen was about, although he did have his suspicions.

Pushing his thoughts aside, Hammond sighed and looked at the massive pile of paperwork sitting on his desk. That's when he decided to take a page out of O'Neill's handbook for paperwork. He took a fifth of the pile and placed it in Walter's inbox. Then he took the rest and placed it in various other officers' inboxes. Smiling to himself he headed off for the physical fitness area. A nice long walk on the treadmill sounded nice.

However, when he arrived in the room it as empty! Not one piece of work out equipment was left. At the far end he saw an official looking sign. Walking over he read it.

Notice: This department requires no physical fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, chasing Go'ulds, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck.

JOke

Hammond clutched his head and moaned. "I thought we were done with this!" he walked over to the big red button and pushed it.

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Daniel had just gotten back from his week's vacation at home. He cautiously looked around as he walked. They said he had just imagined it, but one could never be too cautious.

He made his way down the hall and into his office. Daniel breathed a sigh of relieve and sat down. He turned on his computer, and then walked over to his collection of artifacts over the past week Daniel had studied more into the legends of the Inca. Some of the cups found on P4X-289 sounded similar to the ones described in the folklore. He wanted to examine the pieces closer.

He nonchalantly reached up to where he knew the cups were. However, knowing where some something is supposed to be and it actually being there are two different stories, as Daniel found out when his hand grabbed a fist full of broken pottery from P2V-4X7.

Confused, he looked up. No cups. In fact, instead of finding other items from the planet the dishes had been found on, he discovered artifacts from all over the galaxy! Shocked, he flew around the room checking each shelf.

Finally, he plopped hopelessly in front of the computer. All his hours of careful cataloging and sorting artifacts into piles from different planets were wasted. The relics were mismatched and strewn across the room. The Edora rack now housed objects from fifteen other planets.

Daniel wanted to scream. He took at least ten minutes and contemplated what to do. He decided the first thing was to print a list of all objects stored in the room. Daniel turned and brought up the main screen. He clicked on 'Recent files' expecting the "Artifacts List" to be at the top. To his utter dismay, it wasn't there. Franticly, Daniel browser through the names of the other files, hoping it had just been misplaced. Nothing.

Swearing in Egyptian, he exited that screen. Just as Daniel was getting up to go find General Hammond, something on the computer desktop caught his eye. It was a lone file placed far away from the others. Looking closer, he read the name and did a double take: "Daniel's Rock List."

He opened the folder and found the missing list, but every place where it had previously said artifacts or relics it now said 'rocks.' Daniel was quickly scrolled to the bottom of the page and wasn't surprised to see the four little letters he had come to despise, JOke.

The base alarm went off causing Daniel to jump up. He didn't even want to know what that was about!

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Sam was frustrated. General Hammond had decided that all of SG-1 needed a rest and had commanded that they spend the week off. He had even gone so far as to post guards outside of Sam's lab to keep her out!

After the first two days she had given up trying to get into her lab. That meant for the past five days, seven hours, sixteen minutes, forty-two seconds, thirty-one milliseconds, and eight nanoseconds Sam had not been allowed to do anything that required astrophysics (and yes she was keeping track of the time). If she didn't get back to the SGC soon she would go crazy!

Quickly passing through the security checks, she hurried towards her lab. Thankfully, she noted that the General had removed the guards from the door.

Her fingers blindly pushed the code to enter. Her mind was already planning which experiment to begin first. Anything to keep her mind off of a certain military man's death.

The door slid open and she rushed in, and stopped. Taking a step back she checked the room number. Yes it was her lab, but it sure didn't look like it. Dozens of red roses were everywhere, on the tables, in test tubes, hanging from the ceiling even! Rose petals covered the floor. Places that weren't covered in roses held heart shaped boxes of assorted chocolates.

Out of the corner of her eye she spied a new piece of equipment, a small refrigerator. Curious, Sam knelt down and pulled open the door. Inside were at least twenty cups of blue Jell-O, complete with spoons. She was shutting the door hen she spied an envelope addressed to her on the inside of the door.

Sam picked it up and eagerly opened it.

_HI Major! You do know that there are laws about working too many hours in a day, right? I realize that you 'forget' to go home many nights and thought that at least you should eat something! So I got you these treats. Doc Frasier may kill me but at least it's food. I would have tossed a few beers in but that would probably be against regs. Enjoy, _

_JOke_

_P.S. Check under your desk I left a case of bottled water there for you._

Sam dropped the letter. JOke. She hated those four letters. Tears fell down her face. JOke wouldn't have to worry about Doc Frasier killing him, once Sam found out who it as there wouldn't be much left for anyone else!

Suddenly she shivered. Her tears had disappeared. Sam looked around the room. She almost swear someone was there with her.

Major Carter was still looking around when the alarms went off. Giving the lab on last glance, she ran off towards the emergency.

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Jack was kicking himself. He thought that Sam would love what he had done. He knew he shouldn't have signed that note. She had been okay with it until then.

The colonel couldn't stand to see his Sam cry. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help himself. Jack reached over and wiped away her tears. He saw her eyes widen and she started to glance around the room franticly. She could sense his presence again! Maybe he should show himself?

Jack swallowed hard. Would it scare her? Would she believe him? The questions kept coming. Finally he decided to reveal his existence to her. He took a deep breath, and… the alarms went off and Sam dashed out of the room.

"Damn it, O'Neill!" he clenched his fists. "It's my own stupid fault. I just had to rearrange the gym!" Jack stomped off towards the fitness area while airman ran right through him.

"Walking through the colonel is getting old!" he yelled at their disappearing backs.

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Within minutes of the alarms sounding General Hammond was surrounded by airmen, SG teams, and marines who all stared in wonder at the vast empty room.

"W..what happened?" a young marine stuttered.

"It would appear the physical fitness equipment has been removed from this area," Teal'c replied. Then, spotting the note on the wall he finished, "and the one responsible is JOke."

"Teal'c is correct," the General spoke up. He commanded the airmen to search the base and see if they could locate the missing equipment. A few minutes later he realized Major Carter was still in the room. She had been staring at the note for the past eight minutes. Hammond noticed she was shivering and a little pale.

"Major Carter?" he asked. No response. "Sam?" Nothing. He tried the nickname he had given her years ago when they had met just after her second birthday. "Skeeter?" Sam looked up with haunted eyes.

"Why are they doing this?" she asked. "Why now?"

"I don't know. Sam are you okay?" Hammond questioned. He listened as she told him about her lab.

"Sam I'm speaking as a friend. You look like you need rest. Go home, go to a spa, I don't care what you do as long as you feel better. Don't make me have to order you off base. Take as long as you need. It's been a rough two weeks."

"But Sir I…" she began.

"No buts about it. Go," he commanded.

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It took some more convincing on General Hammonds part, but Sam finally left the base. It took her a little over fifteen minutes to reach her house. Opening the door, a cold empty chill greeted her. She dropped her purse and shoes by the front door and went to her room. She sat on her bed and stared at the post card Jack had sent over three years ago from his cabin in Minnesota.

She longed to be able to turn back time and join him on the trip like he'd wanted her too. She had promised herself that one day she would take him up on the offer, but now it was too late. Why had she waited so long to admit that she loved him?

She buried her head in the pillows and screamed. The screams turned into sobs and half and hour later she fell into a fitful slumber.

Sam was dreaming when suddenly it hit her. She woke and grabbed madly for her clothes. She stumbled towards the door grasping her cell phone. Dashing to the car she hit speed dial.

"General Hammond please. It's an emergency," She told the person at the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry ma'am he's in a meeting. May I take a message?" the voice asked.

"Tell him it's Major Samantha Carter and I have big news. It involves base security!"

It took exactly nineteen seconds from the general's voice to come on the line. "Major? Is everything alright?" he asked worriedly.

"I know who it is!" she practically yelled.

"Who?" questioned the confused general.

"JOke, I know what it stands for!" Sam swerved to miss a cat.

"Well?" Hammond asked in eager anticipation.

"Just have Daniel and Teal'c in the briefing room in eight minutes. I'm halfway there now."

Hammond was about to ask another question when he heard the telltale click that she had hung up. "Walter!" the balding sergeant appeared in the door.

"Yes Sir?"

"Cancel the rest of the meeting, and get Doctor Jackson and Teal'c down here now." The General turned to gaze at the Stargate wondering who JOke could be and what the letters could stand for.

A/N

Leaving the anxious readers wondering as well. You'll find out next chapter! Thanks for all the reviews!


	11. JOke

And a drum roll please…finally the moment you've all been waiting for….

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Samantha Carter ran through the halls of the SGC. She still couldn't believe that she hadn't seen it. How dumb was she? The major barged into the briefing room.

Daniel looked up still a bit groggy from being woken up from his nap, and Teal'c looked none too happy either. Apparently the general hadn't told them anything.

"Major Carter," Hammond greeted her.

"Sir," she replied starting to take papers out of the bag she was carrying.

"What is it Sam?" Daniel wanted to get this over with so he could get back to bed.

"I know who JOke is," she stated simply, continuing to sort the papers. Daniel and Teal'c sat up straighter. They waited. Sam continued to finish sorting.

"Well are you going to tell us?" Daniel asked. Suddenly he felt something hit his head. He turned and looked around. He noticed Teal'c doing the same thing.

"Tell you what?" Doctor Frasier asked coming into the room.

"Major Carter has discovered who JOke is," Teal'c replied, glancing around again. It felt as though he had been hit.

"And?" the doctor asked eagerly.

"She has not informed us yet on who this person is." Teal'c turned again, and Daniel gave him a funny look, mouthing 'You too?' Teal'c nodded his head and watched Daniel flinch and rub the back of his head.

"Just give me a second," Sam called over her shoulder oblivious to what was happening behind her. A few moments later, she turned to face the group.

"The answer has been staring us in the face all along," she began. "The pranks by JOke began at Colonel O'Neill's memorial service since then, almost every gag and prank has been aimed at those who often worked with the colonel.

Every joke has involved something that one of us in this room would have to be there. This whole time we've been thinking that someone was being cruel and malicious. But what if they were trying to tell us something?"

"Why would they do all that stuff? Why not just come out and say it?" Daniel asked.

"What if they couldn't? What if they were trying their hardest to let us know?" Sam placed a picture on the table for everyone to see.

It was a post card Jack had sent from his cabin. It showed a cartoon fisherman with his arms stretched out as far as they could go, and maybe even further. The bubble next his head said: You should have seen it. It was THIS big!

"What does this have to do with JOke?" Daniel questioned. "Jack has sent us all post cards from his fishing trips at on point or another." He flinched again.

"Daniel Jackson is correct," Teal'c added

"Ah, but how did he sign yours?" Sam asked with a gin.

Daniel thought a moment. "Jack O'Neill."

"He signed mine differently. Look," the major passed the card to General Hammond. He took the card and read it aloud.

"Hey Carter! You missed out on a great scientific study: The evolution on fish tales. You still think working on you doohickeys was more fun? See ya soon, JO"

The general passed the card to Daniel, his eyes wide. "Major are you saying…"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. JOke is Jack O'Neill."

"But how is that possible? We all saw him die and I declared him dead myself." Janet reached for the card and stared at it intently.

"I don't know. But somehow Jack is trying to let us know he is here." Sam turned and grabbed the stack of papers she had been sorting earlier. Holding them up, she began again. "These are the energy readouts from the base since the JOke pranks began. There were minuscule increases in energy several times.

I didn't think much about them when I first reviewed the graph. However, I compared them to the approximate times every gag occurred on my way here." Sam cringed remembering the amount of times she had almost wrecked. She shook her head and continued. "Guess what? They match almost exactly. The strongest measurements occurred at the memorial service, when Jack's body disappeared, and when the 'Jackvisions" began."

"So your saying that the "Jackvisions could have been real?" Janet asked.

Daniel crossed his fingers hoping she said yes. That would mean he wasn't crazy.

"Exactly." Sam replied.

Daniel was silently cheering when he felt another poke in the head. 'This 'Jack's still here' is defiantly a good possibility,' he thought.

"Alright so what does JOke stand for?" Daniel asked. He put a hand up to his neck. He could swear he had just felt something hit him again.

"The JO is for Jack O'Neill, I don't know what 'ke' is."

Suddenly, Teal'c spoke up voicing a very good question. "If it is O'Neill why has he not shown himself to us?"

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Jack had followed Sam home. He desperately wanted to tell her. Watching her falling apart was killing him. He floated through the walls of her house. He heard a scream and sped to her room. She was now sobbing into the pillows. Jack couldn't stand it. He reached across and ran a hand over her hair. Finally, she fell into a fitful slumber.

Jack just sat watching her. Suddenly she jumped up. Grabbing a few papers, Sam ran to her car. Jack hopped on the passengers seat, silently groaning when she tossed the papers right through him.

It was the scariest ride Jack had ever been on. Several times when Sam had been staring at the papers, he had taken over steering.

He let Sam retake full control when she picked up the phone, figuring she would pay closer attention to the road now.

"JOke, I know what it stands for!" Jack heard her tell the general. Jack wasn't sure if this was good or not. But he didn't have time to think because Sam's car was slowly crossing the yellow line again. Jack sprung forward and pushed the other vehicle further away from Sam's car.

"Ackkkk!!!!" Jack wiped the sweat from his fore head as Sam swerved out of the path of the oncoming vehicle still barely missing it. He would be very glad when they finally reached the SGC!

A few minutes later he was sitting cross legged on the briefing table juggling balls and occasionally bouncing one off of Daniel and Teal'c's heads.

"I have energy readings, cool," Jack stated trying to add more balls to ongoing juggling process. As the meeting continued he continued to bounce the balls on people's heads. However, Teal'c question made him loose his concentration and the balls fell all over the place.

"If it is O'Neill why has he not shown himself to us?"

"Well Jack it's now or never," he coaxed himself.

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Sam's head shot up. Four pairs of eyes looked at her waiting for an answer. She opened her mouth…

"Hey kids! Miss me?" Jack O'Neill appeared at the other end of the table.

Five heads snapped around and stared mouths wide open.

"Oh for crying out loud! Weren't you expecting me?" Jack asked.

Sam was the first one to recover. "Sir!"

"Ah come on Carter. I'm dead you can cut the formalities. It's Jack."

"Si..Jack what…?" Sam didn't know what to say.

Still stunned, Daniel spoke, "You ascended?!"

"Not ascended, at least not according to the energy readings Sam has shown," Janet walk in amazement over to the form of her dead colleague. Her hand passed though his arm. She shivered and jerked it back. Suddenly it hit her.

The doctor turned back to Sam her mouth a round 'O' of surprise. "The ancient gene!"

Everyone looked at her in confusion.

"We know that Colonel O'Neill has the Ancient gene in his system. A very strong gene to be exact. We also know that ancients ascend."

"But to Ascend you have to have…" Daniel began, but Janet cut him off.

"The Ancients learned to ascend. No one knows how. I bet ascension was a part of their evolution. The Ascended are energy. Sam said that there were increased energy readings. In the evolution process the Ancients learned to gather all the energy and exist in another plain of existence." Janet stated.

"I see!" Sam butted in. "They had to learn how to ascend somewhere. They learned by dying! The gene allowed them to automatically exist with a lower energy plain of existence. They used this knowledge to ascend as more powerful being and as time passed they learned to ascend before death."

Janet took over again. "Because the colonel has the gene he became part of another existence plane."

"So now I'm a plane?" Jack questioned.

"Not exactly."

"Okay," Daniel spoke up. "Does this mean that legends of ghosts are true?"

"It would appear that ghosts are actually persons who have the ancient gene and have died." Teal'c interjected.

"Exactly!" Janet and Sam said at the same time.

"Alright, so Jack is a ghost. Where does that leave us?" questioned Daniel.

"First off," General Hammond said. "I would like to know why you didn't just appear to us like your doing now a few weeks ago," he said addressing Jack.

"I couldn't, Sir. I remember waking up in the morgue and seeing my memorial service, but no one could see me. So, I tried to make you realize I was still here." Jack hoped the general bought his 'altered' story. "I had to learn how to not walk through walls. Let me tell you it wasn't easy! I knew that Teal'c could sense Daniel when he was out of phase during Kel'no ream so I tried the same thing. Apparently, I tried to communicate so hard that I made myself visible. I couldn't control when I showed up or how." Jack uncrossed his fingers.

"So, colonel what does JOke stand for?" Everyone perked up in their chairs eagerly awaiting him to answer.

"Carter was right. It stands for Jack O'Neill…"

"And the 'ke'?!" Daniel interrupted as everyone gave him a dirty look.

"As I was saying JOke stands for Jack O'Neill kolonel extraordinaire."

"You can't spell colonel with a 'k'," Daniel argued.

"You can if you're dead," Jack replied.

"No you can't!"

"Yes I can!"

"Jack…"

"Daniel."

"Gentlemen, please." Hammond stopped them from going any further. He was about to say something else when Walter came in.

"Sir I'm sorry to interrupt, but an important message just came from the president. I think you'll want to read it, Sir"

"You're all dismissed. I'll call you later. Jack stick around the base." Hammond left the group and went into his office.

It took a few minutes for everyone to welcome Jack back and, but finally Sam and him were the only ones left in the room.

"It's good to have you back Sir," she told him.

"Carter…"

"It's good to have you back Jack."

"It's good to be back," he replied. They started to walk out of the room.

"You weren't trying to get our attention and you could control when you 'appeared' couldn't you?" Sam asked knowingly.

"What ever would give you that idea?" Jack smiled and ushered her down the steps in front of him.

"I have absolutely no idea, she smiled back flirtatiously.

Jack grinned even more. Life was defiantly about to get more interesting.

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No this is not the end. Congratulations to all those who guessed that the JO stood for Jack O'Neill. I would like to thank TangledPencils for the ball idea and to ArellaoftheLuvara a belated thanks for the idea of breaking into Daniel's computer and switching the word Artifacts for Rocks. Also a thanks to all my reviews too numerous to name.

Aruna


	12. Unexpected Visitors

"Sg-1 to General Hammond's office immediately." Walter's voice blared over the PA system.

Daniel, who had been lost in his own thoughts, jumped when Janet placed a hand on his shoulder. "Whaa…"

"General Hammond wants to see you right away," she repeated what Walter had said.

Daniel spotted Teal'c and Sam disappearing around the cafeteria doorway. He jumped up and ran after them. "Hey wait up!" he called. Daniel noticed that O'Neill wasn't visible anywhere. "Where's Jack?" he asked.

"Right here," a voice said in his ear causing him to jump.

"Don't do…" Daniel turned to face the colonel, but was greeted with nothing but air.

"I want to find out why Hammond wants you. I've heard that someone important arrived just a few minutes ago. I want to see who it is before I make my entrance," Jack explained.

Daniel couldn't reply because they had reached the General's office. Teal'c knocked.

"Come," Hammond called out.

Teal'c opened the door and allowed the rest to enter. They stood, watching the obviously disturbed general for a few moments before he finally spoke.

"Senator Kinsey and four N. I. D. agents just arrived. They want Jack." He sat in his chair unsure of what to say next.

"They can't," Carter was furious. "How'd they even know he was here? I mean we just found out less than twenty minutes ago! And what do they want him for?" she paced the small room.

"I don't know," Hammond replied. "But the president says I must cooperate with them."

"So you're going to turn over Jack just like that," Daniel interjected.

"Hey nobody is going to turn me over to anyone." Jack made himself visible. Sam almost had to laugh. He was hovering over Hammond's desk and had obviously been planning to through small wads of paper at Daniel's head. Just then he realized he'd been caught and disappeared again.

"I don't have a choice, Jack" the general answered in distraught.

Jack reappeared, paper-wad free, standing next to Teal'c. "How can you turn over something that doesn't exist?" a smile slowly crept across his face.

Sam knew that look. "Jack don't do something stupid."

Jack looked at her hurt, "Me?"

"Yes you."

"Ah come on. I'm not going with those N.I.D. idiots. And I really refuse to go anywhere with Kinsey. I'd kill him first. It's not like anyone can make me go."

Sam thought a moment. "He's right, sir!"

"About killing Kinsey?" the general asked shocked.

"NO! They can't force him to go."

"Yes they can he's a colonel in the USAF. He'll be dishonorably discharged, and Kinsey would have his ass in prison faster than you could imagine."

"He WAS a colonel in the USAF. You can't discharge someone who is already dead." Sam pointed out.

Now Hammond and Jack had sly grins. Finally, Kinsey couldn't push them around.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

Senator Randal Kinsey smiled triumphantly. The thorn in his side known as Jack O'Neill was dead. Oh life was sweet. When news of Jack's death had reached him the senator didn't believe it. He had ordered a small detour at area 51 once the body was cleared at the SGC. That plan had been destroyed when the body went 'missing.' Kinsey didn't believe that O'Neill body had so conveniently disappeared. Someone at the SGC must have discovered his plan.

After hours on the phone and endless promises he'd never keep, Kinsey had finally convinced the president that Jack's body was still at the SGC and Hammond was hiding it. These stories about Jack haunting the SGC halls were so unreal. He bet Hammond, along with a few other allies, had fabricated every bit of the story. He didn't know their purpose, but he fully intended to retrieve O'Neill's body today and be on his way to area 51 by night fall.

If only he knew that someone else was reading his thoughts that very moment.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

Sam immediately noticed a change in Jack's attitude. "What's wrong?"

"Kinsey!" he replied.

"He's always been a jerk. What's so different now?" Daniel asked.

Jack told them what he had just overheard in the senator's mind. Finally, Jack stood and walked across the room, looking like he was about to explode. He fingered the pistol Hammond kept in a pristine display case.

"O'Neill," Teal'c warned.

"I know, I know. Eight out of ten voices in my head say don't shoot him too."

"Maybe he should take one of those 'rage reducer pills' he put in Hammond's desk last year," Daniel whispered to Sam with a grin, which promptly disappeared when Jack replied saying something about Daniel and ever having kids.

Just then, Walter opened the door and stuck his head inside. "The senator and the N.I.D.men are waiting for you in the briefing room, sir."

"Thank you, I'll be out in a minute." Hammond dismissed Walter and turned to the group which now included Janet. "Okay one last run over with this plan. A few moments later, the room's occupants completed their discussion. General Hammond led the way into the room. As they passed the door frame into the briefing room, they prayed that their plan would work.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

A/N Sorry it took so long to get this up but a close family member died and I didn't feel like writing for awhile. I know this is short, but at least it's something. Please Review!!!!

Aruna


	13. Professional Behavior

General Hammond entered the briefing room. The five men waiting stood to greet him. They nodded their respects and sat down.

"General" Kinsey cut right to the chase. "I know that O'Neill's body is here. I want it now. It belongs to the NID for study of the ancient gene."

"Senator, as I told the president, I don't know where Jack's body is. Dr. Frasier had cleared it for shipping to Area 51. The transporters were supposed to be there within a few minutes. Then he was just gone," Hammond replied.

"Oh come on! You actually expect me to believe that bull! I know what you told the president. I also know that you and O'Neill had a disliking of me, and the members of the Stargate project will do anything YOU tell them too. I will get O'Neill's body."

Samantha watched the scene before her. She wondered how long it would take Jack to complete his "assignment." Suddenly there was a slight breeze behind her neck, and a familiar voice was inside her head.

"Ya miss me?" Jack whispered.

"We need to talk," she thought, knowing he could hear her. She leaned closer to the general to hear better.

"Wanna talk now, I'll freeze them all."

"Jack…."

"Okay, okay"

"Will you please be quiet I'm trying to listen." She was a bit frustrated.

By now she had missed some important exchanges between the general and senator. The argument over Jack's body had turned into which organization would be better suited for intergalactic space travel.

"The NID should be running this operation. They have more experience in dealing with sensitive tactical missions." Kinsey stated in a rage.

Daniel couldn't keep quiet anymore. "No the NID just goes in and destroys everything. No surprise situations because everyone and thing is DEAD! The difference between the NID and SGC is you! That is what makes the SGC the better of the two."

"The NID are specialist," Kinsey gave Daniel a disgusted look while addressing Hammond. "How good can the SGC be with civilians? Look at the amount of times the world has almost been destroyed because of a mistake one of the SG teams made. You're all just a bunch of amateurs trying to do a professionals job."

Jack had had it. He couldn't take it anymore. Quickly he froze the room and wrote a brief message on the board behind Kinsey. Smiling to himself he disappeared and watched the room come back to life.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

Kinsey heard a giggle escape from Carter. He opened his mouth to address her when he heard a snort come from one of his own men. What was going on? Everyone seemed to be looking straight past him. He turned around. His eyes went wide and face red with anger.

There on the board, in bold black letters was a brief message: **CONSIDER: BUILT THE AMATEURES BUILT THE ARK, PROFESSIONALS BUILT THE TITANIC**

"O'NEILL!!!!!!!!!! I'LL GET YOU!!!!!!! Kinsey cried out.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

Jack smiled. He was definitely not following the 'plan' but his new idea was way much sweeter. He just couldn't wait to implement the rest of it.


	14. A Change in Plans

Jack froze the room again. Quickly he flew through the walls up to the surface. Flying south he went back to his body's hiding place. Heaving the frozen remains on his shoulders, Jack headed to Washington D.C. in search of an ice truck. Spotting one, he gently placed his corpse inside.

It took a little while longer to find the perfect person to replace the truck's driver. Jack hastily placed a few typed letters and several other people in various places around the city. Their positions were vital to his plan.

That done, Jack began a search of the animal shelters along the way back to the SGC. Within minutes he was back at the compound grinning, a dog in tow.

His new strategy was even better than the original one SG-1 and Hammond had planned earlier. It was fool proof, he hoped. After all, he was running out of new pranks to pull and everyone knew how he felt about cliché's.

'Maybe Carter'll have more ideas,' he thought to himself. Carter! He had forgotten all about letting her into his little scheme. Fast as lightening he raced to the meeting room.

"Now let me see how do I do this?" he had to think for a second how to make Carter 'unfreeze' without allowing anyone else to. Jack remembered and snapped his fingers.

Sam Carter suddenly came to life. She looked around a few moments at the unmoving crowd, her gaze finally resting on Jack.

Instead of the pleasant smile Jack had been expecting, Carter glared at him, "This is not the way we planned it. Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Jack gulped. What is it again, they say about hell's fury and a woman?

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

A/N

Yes I know it's short but at least I updated!!! And just like poor Jack I'm running out of pranks for him to commit. So, we're both open for any suggestions you may have!!!!!!!! Please review!

Aruna & Jack (in spirit of course, no pun intended)


	15. The Conclusion of Jack

**A/N: Finally, the update you've all been waiting for! This chapter is longer than some of the others because I just kept writing instead of making several chapters. It is also the final chapter of this story. It's taken me over a month to write, because I didn't like the original ending I wrote and kept rewriting it. Anyways, I want thank my faithful readers and ask forgiveness for taking so long to update. Enjoy! ~Aruna.**

"What do you think you're doing?" Sam raged. "We had this planned perfectly."

"Look it was a good plan for short term effects. But how long would it have resolved the issues? Please just go with me on this. I promise once this is over we will never have to worry about Kinsey or a number of his cohorts again."

"How?" Sam was still a bit upset by Jack's actions. She shouldn't have been surprised, but it still made her a bit angry. However the prospect of getting rid of Kinsey for good was too much of an opportunity to ignore the colonel's plan.

"I've set up his men in various places. They will be turning in notes of confession when I unfreeze them, and speaking of unfreezing, I moved my body to a security check point at the Fort Hood airport, it's being escorted by Kinsey's men, complete with his order to move my body."

"But how is that going to help?" Sam felt Jack place his hands on her shoulders. "Kinsey was given permission to move your body."

"Ah, he was given permission to acquire it from the SGC and move it to Area 51, and he only received that permission today. According to the computer records as of twenty minutes ago, Kinsey gave the unauthorized order to remove my body the day of my funeral, and he gave orders to transfer it to a NID lab in Georgia, where it is going to as soon as it clears the Fort Hood security check point."

A sly smile crossed Sam's face as realization hit her. "There's no way they will be cleared at the check point. So while Kinsey is here accusing us of stealing your body it looks as if he was the one who actually stole it!"

"Exactly! And that's not the best part."

Sam looked at the evil grin on Jack's face. She knew he had a plan and she had a feeling it was probably best left a surprise. "Don't tell me. I think that it would be better if I looked genuinely surprised."

She didn't know what came over her, but she reached over and ran a hand lovingly over his face. Jack leaned down, his lips gently brushing hers as he pulled her into a hug. "I've missed you." She cried into his chest.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to let you know I was alive. I'm sorry I left that stuff in your office I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want to make you upset. I thought you would like it. I should have known."

"I know, and I did like it. I was just upset that it wasn't you, but in reality it was." Jack gave Sam another kiss and wiped her tears away.

"Shh…" he whispered, silently freezing her body again. He positioned Sam to her original place in the room. He smiled and then started time again, his earlier message still on the wall.

"General Hammond, don't know what trickery you are playing here but I have been authorized to move O'Neill's body…Aggghhhh!" Kinsey screamed.

They entire room jumped. "Sir what's wrong!" Kinsey's men quickly gathered around their leader.

Kinsey stood staring in terror at an empty spot in the room.

"That dog tried to kill me!" he responded pointing at the unseen offending foe.

"Sir?" the men questioned. Kinsey looked at their confused faces and then turned to Hammond.

"You and O'Neill did th..ahhgg. Help! Get it off!" Kinsey cried climbing on to the table.

"Senator Kinsey, what do you think you are doing? Get off that table!" Hammond commanded. Daniel and Teal'c watched it wide eyed and confused. Sam was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Her intelligent mind was thinking quickly and she was pretty sure she had figured out what the problem was. However, like any good scientist she needed to test her theory.

"Senator, Colonel O'Neill's body was …" the was a howl of terror for the man, "stolen the day of Colonel O'Neill's funeral…" another scream, "Like the General said, we've search the mountain without a trace of O'Neill's body…" The senator was now off the table and desperately clawing at the door trying to escape the room unsuccessfully. Sam winked a t Hammond who seemed to catch on, because he then started.

"O'Neill was …" a cry of terror and fury escaped Kinsey's throat Hammond continued, "under my command. O'Neill's body is not in my position currently, but when it is discovered Senator, you can be assured that you will never see it."

Hammond looked like he was about to say more when the sound of a phone ringing came from his office. He left the room leaving the once proud Senator huddled on the floor terrified of the unseen dog and furious that it only was interested in him.

The general reentered the room after only a few moments. He motioned his guards to take the senator and his men captive. "That was the President. It seems that O'Neill's body was being smuggled to the NID secretly under your orders Kinsey. Some of your other accomplices decided to confess to their roles within the agency. I have been given the authorization to hold you and your men at this location until tomorrow, when you will be transferred back to Washington to stand trial for high treason, assault, kidnapping, slander, fraud, theft, bodysnatching, and generally pissing everyone off. Gentlemen."

Kinsey struggled against the guards. "You can't do this! I am a United States Senator. I demand that I personally speak to the President. You did this you set me up. You and O'Neill. O"Neill! AGGGGHHHHH! His screams could be heard echoing down the hall.

Hammond motioned SG-1 to follow his back into his office and shut the door.

"Well, wasn't that fun?" Jack reappeared juggling a baseball.

"Jack?" Hammond looked at his…well what would you call Jack now? He wasn't a subordinate anymore, hell he wasn't even alive!

"General no offence, but your plan would have never worked. This way we can shut down the entire NID. Kinsey won't be bothering us anymore. Everything goes back to normal."

"Jack, what did you do to Kinsey?" Daniel asked. "Was he really seeing a dog?"

"Yes a perfectly healthy German Sheppard named Maggie. I picked her up at the pound this morning. I trained her to attack when the name O'Neill is said. Great isn't it! Even if Kinsey is able to worm his way out of this one he still looks crazy. He's the only one who can see or feel her. Any bite marks she leaves won't be visible."

"Jack!"

"Alright, so she won't bite just growl menacingly and bark really close."

Hammond spoke, "The president is launching an immediate investigation into the NID. Jack's right. The NID will be most likely shut down permanently within the week.

"See everything is back to normal."

Sam walked up to Jack a stuck her hand through his head.

"Okay, so not quite everything." Jack shrugged. "But think about it like this. I'm a greater asset to the SGC now! I am invincible! I can do recon anywhere. Think about the advantages we would have when fighting the Goa'uld.

"Jack what about the ancients? They would never let you do that. You're an ascended being now. You can't use your knowledge to help us. They…" Daniel rambled.

"But O'Neill is not an ascended being Daniel Jackson. Did you not say he is ghost?" Teal'c interjected.

"Jack's status as ghost or ancient is not the issue right now." Carter stated. "We don't know a lot of things about his energized existence. Until we know more, like if he can travel through the gate. Jack we know that your energy signature can be detected we'd have to see if it can even be hidden."

"And we don't know how long this energy being status will last." Daniel added.

Everyone looked at his surprised. "What do you mean?" Jack questioned.

"Have you met any other people…things… like you yet?" Jack shook his head.

There are lots of people with the ancient gene that have died. People on this base even. Yet we've never come across anything like this before. According to legends and anthropological readings I've done on haunting give varying lengths of time in which the deceased can still be detected."

"How much time?" Jack asked through gritted teeth. "Am I going to just disappear?"

"I haven't done that much research into the subject it was just a brief study I did when I was looking into the ancient cultures of the native tribes of Central and South America after we brought Hathor here from that temple that was discovered. I recently found that the temple actually was built to the God of Death and that the locals had believed that if they trapped Hathor in the temple the god that ruled the temple would keep her there forev…"

"DANIEL!" Jack shouted. Daniel jumped.

"Sorry, guess I got off track there for a bit, I just found it interesting that."

"Daniel."

"Okay. The time ranges from minutes to years."

"Minutes to years! You're telling me I could only have MINUTES left!" Jack stood impatiently.

"Well being as you're still here and have been for awhile, I guess that means you've made it past the minutes mark." Daniel hoped to soften the blow.

Jack was about to speak again, when Thor beamed into the room.

"Thor, buddy! Glad you could make. Good to see you, I've only got minutes left." Jack slapped the alien on the back. 

"Greetings, O'Neill. I am glad to see you as well. I had heard that you were no longer living. I came to ask Major Carter and General Hammond the circumstances of your death. When I arrived, I was surprised to see your energy signature in this room."

Jack saw Sam giving him an 'I told you so' look. He ignored her and responded to Thor. "Well, see there's kind of a problem. I'm not alive. Right now my body is on its way back to the SGC for my funeral."

"But I do not understand. You are here." Jack waved a hand through Thor's body.

"You have ascended." Thor concluded.

"Not exactly," Daniel explained the situation to Thor. Meanwhile Dr. Frasier hearing of Thor's arrival joined the group.

"So now you don't know when O'Neill will disappear or if he will?" The small alien stated.

"I've got it!" Sam yelled excitedly. The others looked at her in surprise.

"Remember when that energy thing invaded the SGC and I touched it. I ended up in the computers as energy and it took over my body."

Jack cringed at the memory. He tried not to remember how close they had come to loosing Sam forever. He remembered the days he had spent at her bedside, talking to her empty body, blaming himself for shooting her.

Sam saw Jack's shudder. She paused a moment and then continued. "Jack is in a similar situation now. He's energy and needs a conduit back into his body."

"Sam, there's no body for him to go back to. His injuries were too severe. If he went back it would be instant death." Janet told the scientist.

"And he's been dead too long for a sarcoughus to work. There's no spare bodies lying around and I'm not sharing mine again." Daniel added. "I've done that before and it's no fun."

"I know that. I didn't think of this until Thor arrived. He gave me an idea."

"I don't understand Major Carter. What idea?" Thor asked.

"Your ships they are all equipped with devices to clone you in the event your present body becomes too injured to survive."

"Yes."

"That's the answer. We clone the colonel's body and create a source of energy so that he can reenter the new body. Just like I did, only with a cloned body instead of the original." Sam was smiling like a kid on Christmas morning.

"You want to clone me? No way. No offence Thor, but Sam look at what cloning did for them. I don't want to look like a freaky science experiment."

"Jack it's the only way. Please." Sam looked at him lovingly, pleading with her eyes, begging him to try.

"Jack, I really…"

"Daniel…"

"Jack just think about…"

"Okay."

"It really wouldn't be so bad…did you say yes."

"I'll do it. Like Carter said it's the only way."

"Wait just a minute. Major Carter. Although your plan sounds like a good one, we must first ask Thor and his people if they would be willing to try what you have suggested." Hammond said.

"General Hammond, I speak for my people in saying that we own O'Neill a great debt of gratitude for all you have done for our people, myself included. I feel that Major Carter's suggestion is quite possible. I will only need a sample of DNA from O'Neill's body to begin the cloning process." The little grey man turned to face Jack. "The cloning process should not alter your genetic structure. It took many thousands of years of cloning the same bodies for our people to advance to the point at which the genetic mutations negatively affected our appearance."

"Hey while you're in there messing with my genes do ya think ya could give be better knees? What?" Jack asked seeing the faces of his friends. "I've been through enough, I think a new set of knees isn't too much to ask for."

Hammond just laughed, "They're well deserved son," he said giving Jack a pat on the back.

"I will see what I can do, O'Neill," Thor responded.

While Thor beamed Jack's body to his ship and began the cloning process, Sam constructed a power conduit to aid Jack's energy flow into the new vessel.

After only an hour everything was ready. Thor beamed them all to his ship. Jack hovered over his new body clone carefully inspecting it.

"It is complete O'Neill. My sensors indicate that it is a perfect replica of your original body. I was unable to perform your request because any alterations to the knees would also impact the pelvis and would require me to make your new cloned body many years younger than you currently are."

Sam thought she saw Jack's face turn a bit red as she heard him mumble something about being Carter's age wouldn't be so bad.

"Jack, we're ready!" She called, checking the energy readouts again.

"I hope this works," Jack muttered, "the last thing I need is to get zapped with more energy, might turn me into an ancient. The path is the road that's clear and all that garbage. I'd have to break the rule just so I wouldn't kill myself! Daniel might be able to handle it but not me."

"Jack don't worry Sam's idea will work." Daniel assured him.

"Major Carter has confidence that soon you will back to your previous self." Teal'c added.

"Let's just get this over with." Jack stood in the appointed area.

'_I Love you_,' Sam thought hoping Jack was paying attention, he'd been staying out of her head for the past hour claiming that all of her techno babble was going to put him to sleep.

She heard his voice inside her head. '_I love you more_.' Sam smiled and shook her head slightly. '_Do too. I can prove it I died for you!_'

She laughed. Out loud.

"Sam?" Daniel asked.

She blushed. "Just nervous," she told him. "We're ready."

Jack and Sam's eyes met. He gave a brief nod. Sam could feel her eyes watering. If this didn't work Jack could be gone forever…Her shaking hand reached for the button, but never got there.

Janet blocked her movement. "I'll do this, Sam."

Sam smiled gratefully and stepped aside as Dr. Frasier counted backwards from five.

"Three, two, one." Janet's hand pushed the button. There was a burst of white light and an energy field shot forward knocking everyone in the room to the floor. The light had been so bright that now as it faded the room appeared black. It took a few seconds for Sam's sight to return. As she was rubbing her eyes, a voice called out in the darkness.

"Carter?"

"Jack! I'm here. We're all here." She rushed forward in excitement and flew to the table where his body was.

He was sitting up and looking around the room slightly confused.

Sam wrapped him in an enormous hug, "Jack you're okay. It worked. Thank god. I was so afraid it would that you'd…" Sam stopped confused. Jack was wiggling uncomfortably out of her grasp.

"What happened? Where's everyone? Where are we? Is this Thor's ship?"

Sam stood up stunned; she had never expected this outcome. She had never thought it possible. It hurt just to breathe.

"Jack…" He flinched at her use of his first name. "Sir, what's the last thing you remember?"

By now the rest of the group had encircled the bed where Jack rested.

"We were ambushed by some Jaffa. You got hit by a Zat. Teal'c got hit by a staff blast. I got you both through the gate after I got shot on my way through and landed really hard. Hey, I got shot!" Jack frantically pulled at his shirt and awkwardly tried to turn and look at his back. "How come I don't feel like I got shot? How long have I been out?"

Hammond took over. "You've been 'out of it' for a while." Then the general retold the whole story.

"I died and let Thor clone me!" Jack seemed

"Don't forget about shutting down the NID" Daniel added.

"And eliminating Senator Kinsey as a threat to the SGC," Said Teal'c.

Janet walked up just then. "I've been going over your test results Colonel O'Neill and I'm glad to say you seem in perfect health and are fit for active duty."

"Welcome back, son!" Hammond congratulated.

Meanwhile Sam held back. She was happy that Jack was okay, but she was bitterly disappointed. She should have at least thought about what would happen, but she was so absorbed with the idea that Jack may have vanished forever that she hadn't thought of the consequences of her actions. At least now he was alive and healthy.

That left her with two conclusions. One, he really didn't remember what happened during his time as a ghost. Or two, he remembered. If he remembered… if. What did she expect? If he remembered that meant he was avoiding her emotionally. He didn't want to deal with her, didn't want a relationship that would jeopardize his career. No, she wouldn't even think about it. He didn't remember. Which meant that the kiss and the I love you's weren't real and he would never admit his feelings for her because he was protecting them both. Yes that was what was happening.

At least that's what she was going to tell herself because the other possibility was too painful to contemplate.

"So, I think a party's in order. How about fishing at my place and cake? Gotta have cake." Jack smiled. "So Carter care to join us? Thor's going to beam us down to my cabin for cake."

"No sir, I need to go back to base and fill out some paperwork concerning Kinsey's arrest and your revivement without mentioning your brief time as a ghost."

"Ah, come on. Leave the paperwork, you only live once."

"No thanks."

Jack turned Hammond and repeated the same conversation. The general responded the same way as Carter.

Jack waved good bye as Daniel and Teal'c looked as though they were debating the decision to revive their friend, while Thor beamed them to Jack's cabin.

Then, after a few goodbyes, Thor beamed Sam and the general back to the SGC.

Sam started towards her lab, when the General called her.

"Major Carter," he began.

"Yes, Sir?"

"I know that this afternoon has been difficult for you. And don't deny it. The past few weeks have been straining everyone. I just want you to know that whatever decision you make is backed by me 100%."

"Sir?"

"You know what I mean. If this experience has taught me anything it has shown me how much we risk every time a team steps through that gate. As a wise man once said, life's too short, you only live once. Every member of this facility should live life to the fullest and enjoy every minute of it because you never know what may happen. Just think about it."

"Yes, Sir."

"And Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Go out and have some fun tonight. Paperwork can wait."

"Yes, Sir!" Sam left the room and went to her lab, trying to decipher what the general had just said. Was he giving her and Jack permission to…? Was her telling them to go for…Was…?

Her mind couldn't focus. She need to go. Quickly she grabbed her keys and began the long journey to the surface. She drove to the Keystone Bar and Grill, just a mile or so from her house. The general said have fun. What she needed was to get drunk. It was the only way she knew to stop the wheels in her mind from spinning. The situation with Jack, the SGC, the equations….there was only so much a person could handle at once.

She was by no means dressed to go partying. She still wore the clothes from when the general had sent her home the day before. She sat at a secluded booth and ordered a round to drown her sorrows.

"You look pretty bummed, like your best friend just died or something. Want to talk about it?"

Sam looked up. A muscular, tall man about her age with sandy colored hair was standing there staring at her.

"Do I look like I want to talk right now?" She snapped. The last thing she needed was to deal with a man.

"Actually, yes," He slid into the booth next to her.

She was getting angry now. "Look mister. I don't know what you want. But if you don't leave me alone within the next ten seconds I'll break your nose."

"It can't be that bad. I bet he wishes you were with him right now." The man continued, unfazed by her threat.

"No he doesn't." Sam admitted. Then realizing what she had said stared in horror at the stranger. The man smiled a familiar looking smile that Sam couldn't place.

"Name's Neill, with two L's," The man held out a hand.

"Hell no," Sam said getting up. One man named Neill with or without the beginning O was bad enough, she couldn't handle two.

"Give me a chance. What do you hate men?"

She didn't know what made her say it, but she couldn't help herself, the man infuriated her, "Oh no I like men, it's Neill's I have a little problem with."

"Hey, just because my reproductive organs are on the outside instead of the inside doesn't mean I can't handle whatever you can."

Sam gasped. It was a twisted form of their first conversation, but it was _their_ conversation.

He smiled, "We can arm wrestle if you like?" he said innocently.

Sam gaze froze on his eyes, the same eyes that had haunted her, tortured her. The eyes that she dreamed of every night, full of passion and love.

"YOU!" she whispered fiercely. "Outside now!"

"Well that was fast. You know I normally don't…" She yanked him from the booth and pulled him from the building and into the alley.

She pushed him against the wall and kissed him passionately. After a few seconds she pulled back.

"It is you," she said more to herself than to him. "What? How?" Her eyes focused on his.

"Let's go back to your place and I'll explain."

"You're moving fast, don't you think?" She whispered giggling. She didn't know what had gotten into her, but she felt like a giddish school girl on her first date.

"Well we can always go back to mine or just stay here, but my neighbors would think we were breaking in and the bar tender is watching us."

"Alright, my place."

Jack drove while Sam stared on in silence, never letting go of his hand. Once they were inside Jack locked the door and morphed back into his usual appearance.

"That's creepy!" Sam cringed.

"I didn't know my face was so repulsive to you. Should a change back to the other guy?"

"Not your face, the actually morphing."

"Glad to hear it."

"Now spill. What happened? I thought the cloning thing worked."

Jack sat on the chair across from Sam's sofa. "I wanted it to work. I tried so hard to go back into that body, my body. But I couldn't. There was something stopping me from entering it. Then, Oma was there."

"Oma? As in Daniel's Oma, the ancient?"

"Yes, the one and the same. It seems as though the ancients have been watching this whole situation unfold. Apparently, I am one of the last of a dying breed. When the ancients first discovered the ability to actually ascend this happened a lot. Beings were trapped between one world and the next. But, as time moved on the transition happened much quicker until it wasn't necessary at all. Daniel was right about his ghost theory; however, there are actually very few ghosts. The 'poor lost souls' quickly discover the means to move on."

"So why did the ancients wait so long to tell you this? They've left you literally hanging…"

"That's the catch." Jack interrupted her. "They can't help me."

"I don't understand. Aren't you one of them now?" Sam was confused.

"After the ancients discovered the 'path,' they chose to become ascended beings. All those that followed made the same decision. People like me who have an unusually powerful ancient gene, are rarely in existence now. When they do die the ancients quickly persuade them to make the next step and become an ascended being, consequently subject to the rules and stipulations that govern them all. That way, even if the dead person was evil in nature they could not use their power for domination, the others wouldn't allow it."

"Are you saying that the ancients have no control over you? You can do whatever you want and they can't stop you?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"But why didn't they approach you sooner?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "They knew I wouldn't join them, they weren't paying attention, they were enjoying my jokes? Who knows? Oma offered me, well it was more like told me I would join them. I told her to go to hell. She said I could ascend and then the ancients would send me back to earth in my human form."

"But isn't that what you wanted?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah, but they would send me back with no memory of my past life."

"But Daniel got his memory back. It just took some time."

"I asked her about that. It seems that the ancients thought it would be beneficial to the universe for his memories to return. Anubis was cheating and they figured we needed a hand. Me, on the other hand… They feel that my memories would be of little consequence in the fight of good vs. evil. While Daniel understands the importance of the path to enlightenment, I am resolved in war and killing. I know too much to keep my memories, but am not valuable enough in the grand scheme of things to ever regain them."

"Jack don't say that. You're the most valuable asset to earth's defenses" Sam moved to sit next to Jack on the sofa.

"Actually, you are." He tried to pull her into his lap.

She froze and Jack stopped. "There's another reason why I don't want to lose my memories." He said looking into her eyes. "I want to remember everything about you. The way you look when your frustrated, the way you role eyes at my antics, our first conversation. I don't want forget that. I want to remember how I feel when I'm just near you. I love you Sam, way too much to ever risk losing you." He could understand her hesitancy; after all they'd ignored and played around their feeling for years.

"Jack. What if you just vanish one day, we still don't know what will happen. What if Daniel is right? Ghosts don't live forever. And what about the regulations? Everyone thinks your back now we can't…Teal'c and Daniel!"

"What about them," Jack questioned.

"Your clone is with them at your cabin. If they go to get you and see the clone lying there lifeless…because you're here…"

"Relax. I can breathe without actually being there. Walk and stuff too. Remember the asgaurd clone that was held here on earth. In fact, I can control its movements and voice and stuff right from here."

"You can?"

"Yep. Right now, I'm beating Daniel's ass at poker."

Sam thought a moment. "Thor's scanners only detected one energy signature from you when we were all back at his ship. How did you hide yours, why?"

"See it's all part of my plan."

Sam rolled her eyes in a 'here we go again' gesture.

"After Oma left, during the 'few' seconds you were all blinded by that white light, I thought about what I was going to do. If I revealed the truth I wouldn't get to go through the gate anymore. There would be tests and endless questions. And, we could never be together. After dying I realized that I can't lose you. You mean too much to me." Jack raised his hand to gently touch the side of Sam's face. "If I went along like your plan worked, I would still get to be with SG-1. But then there would still be questions. So I faked amnesia. There would still be tests, but no questions. And, it cleared the way for us to be together." Jack smirked.

"How would it do that?"

"If I couldn't 'remember' that anything had happened between us then we could go back to the ignore/deny relationship. Then, if you just happened to start dating a handsome, young man who would know it was actually me? I could play the over protective 'kill you if you hurt her' commanding officer. We could be together and no one can say a thing cause technically I'm no longer your commanding officer being as I'm dead and all."

Sam thought about his logic for a minute. "So you act like you're jealous of my 'new' boyfriend who is actually yourself?"

"Exactly!"

She thought about it some more. It actually made some sense in a Jack O'Neill sort of way. At least they wouldn't have to hide their relationship.

"So whatya think?" He looked at her with his childlike, quizzical eyes.

"I think that Neill needs a last name for when I introduce him to Colonel O'Neill."

Jack leapt off the sofa and pulled Sam into a hug. "Yes!" he shouted. He was about to let out another yelp when Sam silenced him with a kiss.

Two months later

Daniel moaned and scratched at the itchy mosquito bites which covered his entire body. The weekend fishing trip at Jack's cabin was more like torture than a vacation. Jack had beaten him at poker and made him so drunk he had sung a karaoke version of Shania Twain's song 'Man I feel like a Woman.' But that wasn't the worst part. Jack had video recorded Daniel's impromptu concert and it was currently becoming viral on the base's intranet.

He walked to the park slower than normal, his cup of coffee too hot to drink. Sam had asked him, Janet, Cassie, General Hammond, Teal'c, and Jack to meet her at the public park/play ground where they often had taken Cassie when she was new to Earth.

Sam was different the past few weeks. She seemed a little upset that Jack couldn't remember his time as a ghost, but she was also happier. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that she and Jack were dating. But that was impossible. Since his return, Jack had decided to take it upon himself to personally see to it that he made Daniel's life misery. Every night was something. A hockey game, a wrestling match, pizza night, beer night, camping…The general and Teal'c were also included in this new goal of Jack's. There was never a night in the two months that had passed, where Jack didn't have some sort of activity up his sleeve.

Sam had been included for the first week after Jack's 'recovery,' but after that she didn't join them. She was always busy or had other plans. Daniel had his suspicions that she may have met someone, and that could be the reason why he was now walking across the wet freshly cut grass at the park. Daniel spotted the rest of the group setting up at a picnic table near a BBQ grill that Jack was just firing up.

"Hi, guys," He slumped on the bench.

"Hey! Danny boy. Glad you could make it." Jack gloated.

"Where's Sam?"

"Major Carter has not yet arrived." Teal'c confirmed.

"There she is!" Cassie yelled jumping from the table, running to meet her friend.

"And who is that!" Janet let out a low whistle. Sam was just getting out of her car, a tall, muscular sandy haired man holding the door open for her.

"Janet!" Daniel gave her a look motioning with his head towards Jack.

She realized her mistake. "Oh I mean, he's just a normal average looking guy. Very average. Maybe it's her brother?"

"Oh please," Jack spoke up. "Average guy my ass. He looks like he just walked off Baywatch."

Hammond, Daniel, and Janet exchanged a look.

"They would appear to not be siblings Dr. Frasier." Teal'c added watching the mystery man give Sam a quick peck on the lips.

"Thanks for the clarification T." Jack muttered turning back to the grill.

"Hey! Thanks for coming!" Sam greeted as she approached the table. A chorus of 'Hi, Sam's' followed. "The reason I invited you here is I'd like you to meet someone. This is Neill Johnson. He's an English professor at Colorado Springs High. He moved here about six weeks ago." Sam smiled and Neill waved.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you. Sam's told me all about you. Nothing but good things of course."

"Where was he when I was in school," Janet whispered under her breath.

Jack shot her a dirty look, "So _Neill_, how long have you and Carter been dating?"

"Sir!" Sam let out a gasp.

"It's okay hon," her date patted her shoulder. He turned to face the colonel. "Sam and I have been dating since before I got here. I was scouting houses after learning I'd gotten this job and ended up at this little grill on Warsaw and 6th. I saw Sam sitting at a booth alone. She looked a little upset, something to do with work. Anyway we hit it off right away and have been seeing each since."

"Likely story. Why'd you move to Springs?"

"Colonel," this time it was Hammond that reprimanded.

"I like the mountains, and I like the stars. This is a very good area for stargazing and it's in the mountains. Plus, I was offered a substantial raise. What else would you like to know about me? Have I ever been married no, no children, I don't smoke, I rent an apartment, I own my car, I went to NYU and graduated with a masters in English. No I wasn't at the top of my class, but I wasn't the worst either. If you would like to do a full background check my date of birth is Nov. 15th, 1967 my social security number is 142-247-6484. And if you didn't get all that just look up my name, Neill Johnson. That's Neill with two L's."

Everyone froze. Sam looked mortified. Hammond was taken aback and everyone else was too stunned to speak.

Jack cracked a smile. "Two L's eh? How do you like your steak?" He reached for a steak.

"Well done. Are we good?" Neill questioned him.

"Yep, just keep one thing in mind. You hurt her I'll kill you, understood?"

"Perfectly."

Everyone slowly began to rejoin in conversation and the rest of the day went smoothly. As the afternoon wore on, one by one the group slowly dwindled. Jack and Teal'c left first to see a ball game, followed by General Hammond. Then Sam and her date wondered off into the small wooded area of the park. Daniel and Janet hung back, watching Cassie play on the swings.

"Well, that was different," Sam spoke quietly as soon as they were out of ear shot.

"It went better than I thought," Jack added. "There for a minute I was actually jealous with myself."

"Yeah, I was afraid you were actually going end up fighting. I think it convinced everyone though. Did you see Daniel's face?" She laughed squeezing his arm which was draped over her shoulders.

"I have to admit I wasn't sure about using my first name as my last, but I guess it worked. Besides, I didn't realize how many Johnson's there actually are."

"It wouldn't matter if there were none. No amount of scrutiny can detect my addition to the computer systems. As far as anyone is concerned Neill Johnson has always existed, and with your ability to make things and people appear…well let's say that should anyone go looking for an actual person Neill worked with or went to school with, they will be able to find and speak with them easily."

"And we get to be together."

"Yep, a happily ever after," Sam concluded as Jack kissed her again.

Meanwhile, back at the picnic site, Daniel, Janet, and Cassie were cleaning up the last of the food. While Cassie ran to put the basket in her mom's car, Daniel and Janet rested on the bench.

"I wonder when Sam and Neill are going to be back. It's going to be dark soon," Daniel muttered looking at his watch.

"They're probably watching the sunset. It's beautiful tonight."

Daniel scanned the woods again. "Did you know about her new boyfriend?" he asked.

The doctor looked over at him with an 'are you kidding' look. "Not a clue. I knew something was up. Sam's been smiling non-stop for a few weeks now. I tried to get her to spill several times. Guess she wanted to make sure before she introduced him to us."

"Jack was kind of hard on him, wasn't he?"

Janet nodded, "And I thought he hated McKay. I was sure there was going to be bloodshed right then and there," she laughed. "I can't blame him though. She really does love her."

"Too bad the regs won't let them be together. Did you know that Hammond petitioned the president to make an exception of the SGC?"

"He did? When? What did he say?"

"It was right after Jack came back. Hammond said it was hard for members of the SGC to maintain relationships with significant others because no one else knows what the SGC goes through," Daniel paused.

Janet stood eagerly waiting for Daniel to tell her what the president said. "And…"

"And he said he'll review the request. But that every member of the armed forces faces similar issues and that to let one group have an exception could cause tension amongst the others."

"In other words he said no," Janet sighed.

"Basically. But the regs don't apply to consultants." Daniel looked hopefully at Janet. He wondered if she would pick up on his hint. Maybe this wasn't the right time. As the silence continued he started to regret saying anything at all.

His fears were unfounded though. Janet grinned. "Doesn't apply you say," she pondered the idea. "I wonder if a certain archaeological consultant is free for dinner Saturday night."

"I think he is. I remember Dr. Thompson saying he had nothing planned this weekend," Daniel teased, then winched as Janet playfully slapped him. "Ouch! Hey what was that for?"

"You know who I meant. And really Dr. Thompson? I think I have better taste than a man who can't even eat without a bib and wipes his nose on the back of his hand," she shuttered in disgust.

"I think you have excellent taste when it comes to men. I mean, look at me. I'm excellent and you like me," Daniel pulled her into his arms and gave her a tender kiss on the lips.

"Eww gross!" Cassie shrieked walking up to the table to get the last bag of food. "Get a room. Or go in the woods like Sam did. This is a park for kids. They see that and they'll be scarred for life," she grabbed the bag and bolted.

Janet laughed and pulled away. "As much as I enjoy this, I better get Cassie home before she dies of embarrassment at seeing her mother make out in public."

"I'll see you tomorrow night?"

"Dinner at seven, my place. And I'll make sure Cassie is out with friends."

"Can't wait till then. Drive safe."

After another quick kiss, Janet disappeared into the twilight. Daniel scanned the area once more for Sam. Cassie was probably right. Sam and Neill had left the group seeking privacy for who knows what. He thought about his upcoming date with Janet as he ambled towards his car. It wasn't until he was unlocking the door that he realized a bright set of yellow footprints had appeared where his feet had just been. He looked behind him and saw a trail of yellow prints leading from the curb across the street to his car. A curse left his mouth as he now noticed the small 'wet paint' sign warning pedestrians about the freshly painted road stripe. Daniel sat in the driver's seat and reached for the alcohol wipes he kept under the seat. Instead of the wipes, he pulled out a bottle of alcohol.

"What the…?" he stood up and looked where the wipes should have been. No wipes. He searched his entire car in vain. Finally he gave up and walked over to the grass. Carefully, he poured the alcohol on the bottom of his shoes and then rubbed them on the grass. After a good fifteen minutes, the paint was finally gone from his shoes but he reeked of the booze. By now it was almost completely dark.

Daniel fumbled with the keys trying to see in the darkness because apparently the overhead light in his car was burned out. He said a silent prayer as he turned the ignition. Knowing him the battery would be dead and he'd have to wait for Sam to come back to her car. Daniel gave a sigh of relief as the engine roared to life. He put the vehicle into drive and pulled away from the park.

It had been a good day. Jack was back, alive and healthy and appeared satisfied as long as Sam was happy, which she seemed to be. He and Janet were finally dating, and although Cassie had teased them, she was oaky with it. Everything was settling back to normal. Daniel decided that listening to his favorite song was the perfect way to end the day. He push the CD button on the stereo. Instead of the calming tones of the Egyptian flutes, the angelic beginning notes to the Simpson theme echoed throughout the car. Daniel slammed on the brakes. The memory of the paint and alcohol still fresh on his mind, as the Simpson's song continued playing. He held his head in his hands in defeat. He could already feel the frustration headaches he knew were sure to be coming.

"Jack!"


	16. A new life begins

Daniel paced the halls of the SGC. He was really perturbed. Something was definitely going on with Jack, but he couldn't find out what. He was sure that it had something to do with the whole ghost thing, but Daniel couldn't prove it.

His suspicion had first arisen the day at the park. But since then, more mysterious things had been happening, and only happening to him. Pencils would go missing. The coffee in his cup would vanish. Shoelaces miraculously came untied.

He'd voiced his concerns to the general, Frasier, Teal'c and Sam to no avail. If he didn't know any better he'd say they were all in on it. Instead they'd told Daniel that he was imagining things. Was he really sure that he had remembered to tie his shoes, or that he'd drank his coffee and had just forgotten about it. Well sure he had done that a few times before the whole mess with Jack had started, but he was positive Jack was up to no good.

There just wasn't a way he could prove it, and trying to do so made HIM look crazy. So, he'd had to stop voicing his concerns.

At least he had some vacation time coming up. Sam had announced her engagement to Neill and the wedding was today, six months to the day since Jack had been resurrected. Hammond had authorized SG-1 for two weeks of R&R and Daniel for one was looking forward to it.

Teal'c was off to visit his son, Sam and her husband were heading to Malibu, a cabin in the wilderness was calling Jack, and Daniel planned to spend two weeks locked away in a remote corner of the galaxy investigating an ancient library.

Daniel looked at his watch. Time to leave. He rushed to the elevator. The wedding to be held at the park, and most of the SGC had been invited. Cassie and Janet had beautiful arranged the flower arch that stood in between the two massive rows of chairs, the arch marking the beginning of the aisle. Daniel was directed to the front of the chairs, made to stand by Jack and Teal'c. Janet and Cassie stood on the opposite side, along with Jennifer Hailey, the young air force officer that was Sam's prodigy.

Daniel smiled at Janet, who promptly blushed and lowered her eyes. She looked beautiful in her maroon dress. Daniel felt himself a lucky man. The two had been dating for several months and Daniel felt that they were getting closer to the 'forever' part. He wanted to take it slower than Sam and Neill had, maybe this time next year.

The first notes of the Bridal March brought him back to the present. Sam appeared at the end of the aisle. Her dress was of white lace intricately embroidered with tiny rose buds on the hem. A long veil of delicate lace rested softly on her shoulder length wavy hair. There was a slight blush to her smiling cheeks. Daniel had never seen her happier.

General Hammond stood by her side in full dress blues. Gingerly, he held her arm and guided her down the aisle. At the front, Hammond released Sam's arm and allowed Neill to take his place. The ceremony was simple, but beautiful. The vows were exchanged and the couple swapped rings. Finally, the climax of the ceremony was a passionate and steamy kiss. The crowd began awkwardly shifting when after a minute or two the newlyweds were still absorbed in their kiss.

Hammond coughed, and the couple separated, suddenly self-conscious in their actions. The audience began clapping as the minister introduced Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. The happy two, rushed down the aisle amid the tossing of rice. The reception was held at a nearby community center.

Several hours later, the crowd watched as the couple waved good bye and drove off towards the airport. Daniel turned to seek out Jack, but the older man had vanished. Strange.

It took an hour to help Hammond, Teal'c, Janet, and Cassie clean up the mess left over from the reception. Finally, the last chair had been put away and Daniel took the last trash bag to the dumpster.

"I'll see you later," Daniel said, giving Janet a tender kiss. He shut the door to her car and headed towards his own. Maybe he wouldn't spend all two weeks away after all.

Teal'c and the general climbed into Hammond's truck and headed back to the base.

"I wish them well," Teal'c stated.

"It sure took them long enough," Hammond sighed.

"I do not know to what you are referring," Teal'c said feigning innocents.

Hammond continued, "Daniel still suspects. Do you think Jack will ever tell him?"

"The secret of which you speak still has not been revealed to either of us." Teal'c answered in a monotone voice, but the general was sure than the Jaffa had grinned slightly.

"I am glad that it finally worked out in the end. I always knew they'd find a way to be together. I just wasn't expecting it to happen this way," General Hammond concluded.

"Indeed."


End file.
